Header graphic for print

South Carolina Family Law Blog

Information and Insight On Family Law Issues In South Carolina

New Jersey Follows Florida’s Lead Toward Ending Permanent Alimony

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Alimony, Divorce, Financial Issues

As we recently discussed, Florida’s legislature took up a measure that would end permanent alimony in that state. Following hot on its heels, the New Jersey legislature recently began considering a bill that would make a major change to its state divorce law. Some states, including South Carolina, still permit “permanent” alimony, meaning after a divorce one spouse can end up paying money to the other spouse for the rest of their lives.

Under New Jersey’s current law, the court may award four types of alimony: permanent, limited duration, rehabilitative, and reimbursement. The new proposed measure would end the permanent alimony option, to hopefully ensure that some alimony-paying spouses are not forced to spend the rest of their lives writing checks to their ex’s. Though many people make the “’til death do us part” vow, most don’t expect to be held to it after they’ve chosen to divorce.

The new proposal would eliminate permanent alimony awards and instead establish guidelines that would limit the duration of alimony based on the length of the marriage. For instance, if a marriage lasts five years or less, then the maximum alimony term is one-half of the number of the marriage. For those marriages that last less than 10 years but more than five years, then the length of alimony is capped at 60 percent of the number of months of the marriage. Marriages that last between 10 and 15 years could see alimony capped at 70 percent of the months of the marriage. Couples who were together between 15 and 20 years will have the duration of their alimony capped at 80 percent the length of their marriage. Finally, couples who were married for longer than 20 years can receive alimony for an indefinite amount of time.

Beyond capping the length of the alimony, the New Jersey proposal aims to cap the amount of money one spouse would have to pay. The law says that the limited duration alimony should not exceed the recipient’s need or 30 to 35 percent of the difference in the two spouses’ incomes. A judge could only deviate from this rule if he or she issues a written finding explaining why a deviation is required.

As expected, opponents have come out against the measure, claiming it unfairly targets women who rely on alimony income to survive. Advocates of the change say reform is badly needed so that divorce laws can keep pace with changes in society. The fact is more and more women are working and earning as much or more than their husbands, and it may be time to revisit alimony laws to determine if they are outdated.

Source: “Alimony Reforms: NJ May End Permanent Payments,” published at WNYC.org.

Five Relationship Tips to Help Save Your Marriage

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Communication, Dispute Resolution, Marriage, Psychological Issues, Relationships

Yes, our firm handles a lot of divorce cases in Spartanburg, Greenville, and the surrounding area. However, contrary to popular belief, we are not pro-divorce by any means. As I said in an interview with a local television station several years ago, I believe divorce lawyers are a “necessary evil” in today’s society. If a marriage can be saved and made healthy again, that’s always a better outcome than divorce. While many marriages are simply not salvageable, we sincerely hope the following tips might help save a few of them:

  • Find the Right Ways to Communicate :: Realize if you are having trouble speaking on the same wavelength. If so, figure out how to talk to one another. Know when to be quiet and just listen when you need to, respect each other, and dedicate time to actually talk about things that matter (and things that don’t).
  • Learn (and Address) Different Attachment Styles :: How do you handle emotional attachment? Are you an emotionally giving person who shows affection outwardly or you’re more reserved? Couples need to tell each other what they need and be specific.
  • Priority Changes Matter More Than You Might Think :: Priorities typically change over time in relationships. Discuss how the changes impact each of you separately and how they impact your relationship. Then, either work toward a compromise or accept your differences.
  • Ruts Don’t Go Away on Their Own :: If your relationship seems stale, boring, or mundane, then mix things up and engage in new activities together. Doing so involves cooperation and provides a shared experience that can bring you closer together. These don’t have to be extravagant. You merely need to make the effort to get out of the rut.
  • Relationship Counselors Can Usually Only Help When Problems Start :: Don’t let fixable problems get to the point where they weren’t reversible. When you begin to sense that your relationship is in trouble, be proactive and deal with whatever issues you are having. Counselors can’t fix problems, but they can walk you through the process of fixing them yourselves. 

Source: “Relationship Advice I Wish I’d Heard Before Getting Divorced” by Thorin Klosowski, published at Lifehacker.com.

Does the Internet Strengthen Marriage?

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Marriage, Psychological Issues, Relationships, Technology

A surprising study discussed in the Wall Street Journal linked a connection to the internet to an increase in marriage rates. Surprisingly, the study found that marriage rates among young couples, which had been on the decline for years, are actually between 15 and 30 percent higher than they would be without the existence of the internet. 

The study’s author, Andriana Bellou, found that there is a convincing causal correlation between the internet and marriage rates. Bellou, an assistant professor of economics at the University of Montreal, based her findings on data she examined from 1990 to 2006 gathered in the Current Population Survey and compared the results with FCC data about the spread of broadband internet.

Bellou discovered that marriage rates were slightly higher among people who were college-educated than in those without college degrees, a factor that also correlated with the availability of internet in a home. Bellou discovered that more young couples are meeting thanks to online connections and that they are relying less and less on introductions from family and friends.

Bellou says she believes the internet could prove to be as transformative for the marriage market as it has been for the job market. The access to the internet gives those seeking a partner the opportunity to connect with many times more people than they could ever meet in their daily lives. The internet also provides a degree of anonymity that many find appealing.

However, the study points out that these factors, wide selection, anonymity and ease of use, could also undermine the strength of online matches. By making it so easy to meet and find mates many people might start considering marriage less thoughtfully than before. This trend could lead to not only more marriages but, Bellou warns, also more divorces.

Source: “Internet Strengthens Institution of Marriage,” by Brenda Cronin, published at WSJ.com.

Failure to Pay Child Support on the Increase – Possibly Leading to Jail Time

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Child Support, Contempt of Court, Financial Issues

Several articles have appeared in newspapers across the country discussing parents who have fallen behind on their child support payments. Not only have the parents accumulated substantial arrearages, but several are now facing jail time as a result of their actions – sparking a discussion about whether this approach helps or hurts the situation. 

In one case, a woman from Texas was charged with two counts of felony non-support for falling thousands of dollars behind on her child support payments. The woman was fined thousands and given a five-year- suspended sentence for her actions. A New Jersey article discussed the arrest of three individuals in the last few weeks for failure to pay child support. In another case, a man from Arkansas was sentenced to two-years in jail for failing to pay child support for his two children.

Celebrities are not immune from this phenomenon. Even Jermaine Jackson is currently facing jail time after prosecutors asked a judge to hold the famous singer in contempt for failing to pay his required $3,000 per month child support for the past year. Prosecutors say Jackson is nearly $36,000 in arrears, and if the judge agrees, he could face 60 days in jail.  In South Carolina, sanctions for contempt of court can include up to one year in jail, up to a $1,500 fine, up to 300 hours of community service, or a combination of these – in addition to being required to pay all or part of the past due child support.

All the above cases were pulled from headlines over only the last few weeks, representative of a larger and troubling trend of parents falling behind on their child support payments and being thrown in jail as a result. With the possible exception of Jackson, who should have plenty of money, most of the other parents who were incarcerated are unemployed and have no way of making their court-ordered payments. By incarcerating those who have fallen behind on South Carolina child support, the problem is often only exacerbated.

Though debtors’ prisons were abolished centuries ago, the modern trend towards jailing “deadbeat parents” is reminiscent of the practice. States across the country have embraced the idea that parents who owe money for their children ought to be locked up, viewing financial failures as a criminal offense. Charges vary from state to state and can range from misdemeanors to felonies, possibly including serious jail time for the most outrageous offenders.

The move towards incarceration is understandable given that people should not be allowed to shirk the responsibilities they owe to provide for their children, but experts question whether it is effective in the long run. Jailing non-paying parents often penalizes the poor and unemployed who have no ability to make payments even if they wanted to. Many of these people are barely able to provide for themselves and their financial situation and job prospects will only worsen if they are thrown behind bars.

Source: “Jermaine Jackson Headed To Jail For Child Support?,” by Ruth Manuel-Logan, published at NewsOne.com.

Open a Bank Account and Support the Upstate Fatherhood Coalition

By Jenny R. Stevens on Posted in Financial Issues, Miscellaneous, Other Resources, Technology

The Upstate Fatherhood Coalition is a non-profit organization whose sole mission is to help fathers overcome barriers which may be present in their lives which prevent them from being a responsible and involved father in their children’s lives. 

They have locations in Spartanburg and Greenville, South Carolina, but serve fathers from all the surrounding counties including Oconee, Anderson, Pickens, Laurens, Union and Cherokee, assisting approximately 500 fathers each year. In addition to supporting fathers and their families, the group is a resource for businesses seeking employees who are ready to work and also for community organizations who want to learn more about father absence and how to engage fathers. 

The Upstate Fatherhood Coalition is part of a network of fatherhood programs reaching all across the state which is supported and coordinated by the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families. Their programs are sustained through the generous support of community organizations, individuals, and government partnerships. Though individuals can donate directly through their website, there is now another creative way to help support such a worthy cause.

TD Bank’s Affinity Program allows individuals to “link” their bank account via a charitable code and thus “earn” credit towards a charitable donation by TD Bank to the SC Center for Father’s and Families.  The Center will receive $50.00 for every new checking account opened and $10.00 for every existing checking account coded for the Center.

In addition to the money earned for each new and existing account, TD Bank will also donate money to the Center based on a percentage of the average balance of all tagged TD Bank Affinity Program accounts. (Note: The Center will not receive any information from TD Bank regarding your balances or any other personal information.) To find out more details about this program or to open a new account or link your existing TD Bank accounts to this worthy cause, click here. 

 

What Is the Impact of Divorce on Social Security Benefits?

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Divorce, Financial Issues

Many spouses wonder what the consequences would be on their Social Security benefits if they were to get divorced. Experts at the AARP and the Social Security Administration provide this information:

  • If you are age 62-plus, were married 10 years or more, and are currently unmarried (and you are not entitled to receive a higher benefit based on your own work), you can receive benefits based on your ex’s earnings, even if he or she remarried.
  • If you both worked, the lower earner may receive benefits based on the higher earner’s work.
  • If you never worked, you can collect benefits on your ex’s work, and your ex is still eligible to collect what he or she has earned over the years.
  • If your ex hasn’t yet applied, but qualifies for benefits, you can still receive benefits if you have been divorced for two years.
  • You can collect a divorced spouse’s benefits without reducing the amount of your ex’s benefit.
  • The longer you wait to collect divorced spousal benefits, up to your full retirement age, the higher your benefit will be.

Source: “What Happens With My Social Security If I Get Divorced?” by Stephen M. Worrall, published at his Georgia Family Law Blog.

The Impact of Divorce on Children’s Costs for Higher Education

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Child Support, Children, Financial Issues

When going through a South Carolina divorce, couples find themselves stretched thin both emotionally and financially. The costs of getting divorced, paying for a South Carolina family law attorney, alimony, child support, along with the burdens of establishing a new household with extra bills and extra responsibilities can be not only tiring, but expensive.

Even under the best of circumstances, finding the spare money to put aside to fund your children’s education can be difficult, but in families who are grappling with the divorce, it can be almost impossible. Beyond the financial difficulties of paying such a large expense in the face of running two households, parents have the added hardship of trying to reach an agreement with their former spouse (which can be tricky). Anger and frustration could still be present, and putting those feelings aside to tackle your children’s higher education needs can be a challenge.

Despite all the hardships, there are a number of ways that divorcing parents can help their children pay for a college education. One way, discussed in a recent U.S. News and World Report article, is to come to an agreement about possible continuing South Carolina child support. Although parents are not required to support their children past 18 years old (or their graduation from high school, whichever happens last), there is nothing to prevent parents from reaching their own extended child support agreement. Agreeing to such a situation in writing and well in advance of college can help ensure that some of the costs of college are defrayed.

Another way of putting some money aside for your children is to continue making contributions to your kids’ 529 college savings plan. This might be a more palatable choice for some than simply asking for continued child support payments. After all, child support is paid to the other parent and has no strings attached for how it can be used. By putting extra money aside in a 529 college savings plan, you virtually ensure that the money will be used solely for the education of your children. 

Source: “Discuss College Savings During Divorce Process,” by Reyna Gobel, published at USNews.com.

Equitable Division of Assets in South Carolina

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Assets and Debts, Divorce, Financial Issues, Separation

Most people understand that during a divorce or separation, property and debts must be divided. In South Carolina, the judge hearing your case in Family Court will divide all of your marital assets as equitably as possible. This does not always mean an even split, but it often involves taking the assets of one party and giving a portion of them to another. 

While almost all assets are up for grabs during a divorce, there are some things that may be exempt from division. In South Carolina family law cases, our courts follow the “equitable distribution” concept of property division. In equitable distribution states, an asset may belong equally to both parties, to only one party, or to both parties in unequal shares.

The best way to understand what might happen to your assets is to consider the time during which you acquired them. For assets that one spouse acquired prior to marriage, the general rule is that they are exempt from division. The exception here is if the owner of that premarital asset purposely and knowingly added them to the larger pool of marital assets.

For example, if one spouse owned a home prior to marriage, but later added their spouse’s name to the deed, it changes the nature of the property, taking something that was separate property and making it a joint marital asset that could be equitably divided. Another example would be when a couple takes the money they have prior to marriage and commingles the funds together in a joint bank account. In the event of divorce, neither will be able to claim their share as separate property.

The good thing is that in equitable division states like South Carolina, our family law consider both the direct and indirect contributions made by each spouse toward the accumulation of the marital estate. That means that if a court determines that one party acquired a piece of property with little or no assistance from the other spouse, a judge may decide to grant the majority of the value of that property to the responsible spouse instead of evenly dividing the asset. If you have additional questions about divorce laws in South Carolina, consult our experienced South Carolina family law attorneys who can help guide you through the confusing process.

Top 10 Ways to Ruin Your Child Custody Case

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Attorney-Client Relationship, Child Custody, Communication

Child custody cases are complicated, even for experienced family law attorneys. There are things that clients can do to ruin their own cases. At times, it seems as though some parents are their own worst enemies. Kevin Hickey recently published the following article which uses humor to try to help people avoid sabotaging their own custody cases:

Pardon the tongue-in-cheek headline, but, as a divorce and custody attorney, I have to admit that sometimes it seems as if straightforward advice may not get through quite as clearly as satire does.

So, in that slightly-satirical-but-completely-serious spirit, and in honor of the day (though I’m not fooling you here!), here’s my own version of David Letterman’s “Top Ten Lists”: The Top Ten Ways to Thoroughly Make a Mess of Your Custody Case.

#10: Don’t Listen to Anything Your Attorney Says.

It’s not like you’re paying him or anything …

#9: Instead, Do Everything Your Second Cousin (Once Removed) Who Got Divorced and Won Custody Twenty-Two Years Ago In a Completely Different State Says You Should Do.

Because of course he’ll know more than your lawyer, with three years of law school and ten-plus years of actual experience under her belt …

#8: Never Forget the Ultimate Goal Is to Really Stick It To Your Ex-Spouse.

Isn’t that what the court system is for, when you get right down to it?

#7: Ignore the Court Order At Will.

It’s not like the court order carries the force of law or the threat of jail time if you don’t do what it says. (Actually, no, it is that. It is exactly like that.)

#6: Don’t Worry About Keeping a Case Notebook – You Won’t Forget Any of This Stuff, And It’s Not Like It’s Important Anyway.

Details, schmetails. You’ve got a brain like a steel trap, right? And you never forget where your car keys are, either, do you?

#5: Wait Until the Very Last Minute to Get Your Chronology Together.

“Um … when did we get married? Lemme think … well, I know Clinton was president … or was it Bush? Yes, that’s right, it was Bush. Wait, which Bush, though?”

#4: Take Every Opportunity to Show the Judge What You Really Think of Her.

Roll your eyes, make derogatory comments under your breath, give her “the finger” – judges just love that kind of behavior.

#3: Badmouth Your Ex to the Kids Every Chance You Get.

It’s important that they know every single detail of every single one of your many passionate feelings. It’s called “honesty,” right? Sure! What could possibly go wrong with this strategy?

#2: Even Better, Enlist the Kids In Your Campaign to Ruin Your Ex’s Reputation.

Make your kids co-conspirators? Why not?

#1: Kids? What Kids?

See #8. You’re not really in this for the kids’ best interests, anyway.

Source: “How to Thoroughly Make a Mess of Your Custody Case” by Kevin Hickey, published at his outstanding family law blog.

Is “Nesting” After Divorce a Good Idea?

By J. Benjamin Stevens on Posted in Child Custody, Children, Dispute Resolution, Psychological Issues, Relationships, Visitation

The New York Times recently published an article on their parenting blog discussing the idea of “nesting” after a divorce and asked whether their readers thought it was a good idea. The topic provoked a heated response from many, with readers divided on the subject. It’s clear that the idea has received increased attention in recent years, as some couples have tried to maintain one household even after divorce in the interest of stability for their children. 

The concept of nesting began as some couples sought to find a way to keep their children’s lives relatively consistent through the turmoil of divorce. The term “nesting” refers to the practice of former spouses sharing or rotating through a single home in which their children live full-time. The goal is to avoid having the children feel like they are living out of a suitcase following a divorce, creating much needed stability in a time of great change.

Experts say that nesting can work very well in some cases, but be disastrous in others. In marriages that fell apart due to violence or dangerous addictions, continuing to share a residence would not be a good idea and would likely make things more difficult for the children. In cases where the parents are amicable after the split and have the financial resources to make it work, nesting can lead to incredibly collaborative co-parenting. Some experts say in cases where the parents are truly able to get along, it can be ideal for children who are placed at the center of their parents’ lives without being stuck in the middle.

Even in cases where the split was amicable, it does not mean that nesting will be easy. After all, the spouses were not able to get along during their marriage, so having to work together and agree after it’s over can be even more difficult. Certain challenges will still have to be overcome to make this arrangement work, and some of the questions you should ask include the following:

  • Who will be responsible for housekeeping and household maintenance? 
  • Who owns what and who has the right to make changes to the house? 
  • Who pays rent and how much is owed? 
  • Where will the other parent be when one parent is nesting with the kids? 
  • What about food, clothing and other basic necessities, how will those expenses be split?

Some other things to watch for if you’re considering nesting is to be sure that your children do not mistake this as a precursor to getting back together. Experts say that parents should be sure to remind their children that reconciliation is not going to happen.

One of the most difficult aspects of nesting, and one that often derails attempts to create such a nest, is developing new relationships. If one spouse wants to bring a new mate into the “family home”, it can blow up the entire arrangement. Trying to navigate so many landmines can be dicey, but for some, the hassle is worth it for the happiness of their children.

Source: “Does ‘Nesting’ Children After Divorce Work?,” by KJ Dell’Antonia, published at NYTimes.com.