South Carolina Family Law Blog : Spartanburg Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Turnipseed, Brannon & Stevens Law Firm : South Carolina Family Law Serving Columbia, Charleston, Greenville, Hilton Head Island

When it comes to the Courtroom, you will find this to be a pretty place. Once the divorce proceedings begin, the outcome of your divorce is in the hands of a total stranger – the Judge. You no longer have control. All decisions will now be made by a stranger. Of course this stranger may be having a bad day, not feeling well, or even have had a major fight with their spouse the night before. I know it’s scary and may even seem unfair, but this is the real world and it happens all the time. This judge is now in control of the outcome of your trial.

Here are a few tips to help prepare you for the Courtroom experience:

• First, I strongly recommend you try to settle as many issues as possible before entering the Court Room. This means the judge won’t be in control of everything.
• Do not expect the Judge will always make decisions in your favor. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse’s way, or the Judge’s way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.
• Discuss how you should act, and when to speak with you attorney before going into the courtroom. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.
• When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as “Your Honor.”
• Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.
• Leave all hostile and negative emotions at the door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse’s attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.
• Dress for success. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.
• Take notes. Don’t leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.
• Be prepared and stay organized. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.
• Be prepared to be in the court house for some time. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.

Source:  "Divorce – Court Room Tips" published at Barrow & Weigel PLLC's Kentucky Family & Divorce Law Blog.

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From Upstate Parent magazine / GreenvilleOnline.com:

Ben Stevens is a 39-year-old native of Orangeburg who is a family law attorney in Spartanburg. He's also a legal blogger at www.SCFamilyLaw.com as well as www.TheMacLawyer.com. He lives in Spartanburg with wife Hollinger and children Jay, 9, and Elizabeth, 7. A new member of the family, a boy, is expected in February.

1. Surf or turf?

A good steak is second only to good seafood.

2. What's your favorite childhood memory?

Playing baseball with my friends in the playground directly behind my house.

3. What's your favorite dinner?

I enjoy shaking things up by having breakfast for dinner from time to time — bacon, eggs and cheese grits.

4. What's your favorite way to relax?

Writing for my blogs and watching movies with my wife.

5. What is your favorite TV show?

“Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

6. When you were younger, what did you want to be?

Much older.

7. What was the best night out you've ever had?

The night I got engaged — dinner at my wife's favorite restaurant, Soby's, followed by me surprising her by popping the question at Falls Park in Greenville.

8. What's your favorite restaurant?

Chophouse '47.

9. What are your talents and hobbies?

The ability to communicate and motivate others, which I use in coaching youth baseball and basketball.

10. What is something important life has taught you?

Sometimes the best things happen to you when you least expect them.

11. What do you wish you could do?

Have about three more hours every day to be able to do all the things that I don't have time to do now.

12. What would surprise people about you?

I'm still a rabid Clemson fan, even after attending USC School of Law.

13. What do you have on your nightstand?

My iPhone and a book about effective communication skills.

14. What do you wish you could share from your childhood with your children?

The self-reliance that I learned while being raised by a single parent.

15. What is your favorite indulgence?

Sneaking off to play a quiet round of golf, though that doesn't happen nearly often enough.

16. What's the best book you've read lately?

The best book ever is “A Time to Kill” by John Grisham — it just doesn't get any better.

17. How did you meet your spouse?

We met when I was cross-examining her on the witness stand as she testified for the opposing party in a family court case.

18. What was your first job?

My first real job was working at a feed-and-seed store, where my duties included shoveling chicken poop.

19. Whom do you most admire?

Rather than any one person, I admire different aspects of several people: my grandfather's common sense and wisdom; my father's insight and ability to see the next move; and my wife's ability to get along with just about everyone.

20. What celebrity have you met, and how cool was it?

I worked security at a concert by The Smithereens back when I was at Clemson, and they were not only cool guys, they were very down to earth.

Source:  "20 Questions with Ben Stevens" published at GreenvilleOnline.com.

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Do you know your spouse?  Do you really know him/her?  Check out the following article to see what a wife learned about her husband through a simple Google search:

Faye Miller was having some marital problems and went to counseling to avoid a divorce. Her therapist suggested she do some digging on the internet concerning her fears about her husband. He was a podiatrist who she thought "was working a lot of hours and away at medical conferences." It turns out he was away a lot given he had 2 other wives, one in California and one in Canada. Her research turned up that the doctor was married to one woman when he married Faye and then married another woman in Canada after they were married. Well, the battle is on. She has filed for an annulment and also seeks child support for their two children. The husband claims it was just a misunderstanding. You can read more about the case here.

Source:  "Google Search Turns Up 2 Other Wives for Husband" by Robert Kisselburgh, published at his Mississippi Family Law Blog.

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Most people do not have a clue how to find a good lawyer when they need one. In fact, statistics show that 68% of consumers spend two hours or fewer gathering information before selecting a lawyer.

1. Determine the type of lawyer you need.  In most states, a licensed attorney may practice in any field of law, but most concentrate on very specific areas. Most states (though not South Carolina) also have a process of specialization for attorneys. "In days gone by, most lawyers were general practitioners, meaning that they handled cases in a wide variety of practice areas. As the number of lawyers grew, the law became more complicated, and our society spread out, it has become necessary for lawyers to concentrate their efforts," says Michelle May O'Neil, a board-certified Dallas divorce lawyer . There are almost as many different practice areas as there are lawyers. For example, a lawyer who practices admiralty law might not be the best attorney to assist a person needing a divorce. Or, a construction lawyer might not be best suited for a real estate dispute.
2. Utilize referral sources.  One of the best resources to find a lawyer that does the kind of law you need is through other lawyers. Everyone should know at least one lawyer they could call and ask for a referral. Even if the lawyer you know practices criminal law and you need someone to prepare a will, the criminal lawyer will be able to give you some referrals in the practice area you need. There are also referral lists maintained by most local and state bar associations. The downfall of using these services is that there is usually no screening on the qualifications of the particular lawyer with the individual need. It is then up to the consumer to inquire sufficiently into the lawyer's experience compared to the need of the consumer.
3. Look online to research lawyers in the area you need.  The internet is an extremely beneficial source of locating a lawyer. Many websites maintain directories of lawyers nationwide. Most law firms these days maintain websites and usually you can find those through any search engine. Often lawyers are active in professional or community organizations which may be featured on a website. "My firm's website www.oneilanderson.com is a key tool in educating clients on what distinguishes my family law firm from another firm in Dallas," says Dallas Divorce Lawyer Michelle May O'Neil. "I find that most potential new clients read all or part of an attorney's website before meeting in person."
4. Meet in person with a couple of lawyers. The initial interview with an attorney that you are considering hiring is extremely important. Take with you to the interview all of the documents and other information that relates to your problem. Also take with you the names and addresses of the important people that have something to do with your case. Don't be afraid to ask your lawyer about his or her credentials. Ask how many cases similar to your's that she has handled. Prepare a list of questions to ask when you get there - what is the law related to your case? What are the realistic outcomes? What is the lawyer's philosophy for handling your case? Does she recommend an aggressive approach or one geared more toward settlement? Consider your comfort level with the attorney and the personal compatibility. Did you get a feeling of trust from the attorney? Did the attorney seem to know what she was talking about? Did the lawyer seem confident about your case? I never recommend that a person hire the first attorney they meet
5. Establish reasonable expectations.  Many people have never dealt with a lawyer before, so they don't know what to expect. First and foremost, you should expect frank, honest advice. Your lawyer should point out for you the strong and weak points of your case and give you a realistic expectation of the potential outcomes. She should keep you informed and send you copies of documents pertaining to your case. If a lawyer gives you a guaranteed result, run the other way!!! Lawyers are prohibited from guaranteeing any particular outcome, so be very leery if this happens. Don't expect your lawyer to act as a psychologist, financial advisor, tax planner, or to give any other advice outside of her expertise. If you need advice in other areas, consult a professional in that area.

Source: "How To Find A Good Lawyer When You Need One" by Michelle O'Neil, published at the Dallas Divorce Law Blog.

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Note:  The following post was done by an attorney in Missouri, but it does an excellent job of explaining many of the terms commonly used with regard to child custody.  Many of the terms referenced below are used in other states, including South Carolina.  You should contact an attorney in your state to discuss the terms that apply there.

In cases involving children, the Court must, either by agreement or by trial, set up some sort of custodial arrangement for the kids involved. There are many options available, all of which fit under a just a few legally recognized categories. There are as many if not more “definitions” of custody floating around out there that don’t actually mean anything legally. People usually have at least some idea of what it is that they are seeking in their minds, but they have trouble defining it. So here we go with a little Child Custody 101 to assist those with their initial case preparation:

• Legal Custody :: This is one of the two types of custody that must be determined by a Missouri Court in all cases. The legal aspect of custody means decision making and parental authority, basically. It means having the legal right to make (and participate in) any material decisions affecting the children. Included are the choice or change of school, college, camp, or comparable summer activity, special tutoring, music, sports, art, dance, and other cultural lessons, psychological or psychiatric treatment or counseling, doctors, and surgeons; notice of illness and injury; access to school and medical records; and all other material decisions affecting the health, education, and welfare of the children. Specifically, decisions regarding educational instruction, religious instruction, health care, discipline, and child care providers are included in the model parenting plan, but anything relevant to the children could be included in the definition. Legal custody can be granted to one or both parents, but the overwhelming preference is for joint legal custody.
• Physical Custody :: This is the second aspect of custody that must also be determined. Physical custody simply means the right to have actual physical possession of the children at a certain specified time. The preference is for joint physical custody, which only means that both parents have the right to physical possession of the children at certain times. The actual schedule can vary greatly, however, and this is where tailoring to the specific needs of the family is important. Joint physical custody could be an alternate weekend schedule, alternate weeks, holidays and spring break only, summertime only, 3 day/4 day, 5 day/2 day, 50/50, open ended, or whatever other schedule is appropriate for the case. Just as a note, in a 50/50 joint physical parenting schedule, reduced child support is still usually paid in some form or another.
• Joint Custody :: As discussed above, this is the preferred arrangement and will usually be awarded unless a physical or emotional danger to the child is demonstrated. The Court has to determine whether joint custody is appropriate as to both the legal and physical aspects of custody.
• Sole Custody :: This is the alternative to joint custody where only one parent is granted either all of the decision making rights (sole legal custody) or all of the physical parenting time with the other parent being excluded completely (sole physical custody), or both. Courts are reluctant to order either of these options unless it is shown to be in the children’s best interests, which usually means that physical or emotional danger to the children will occur under any other alternative. Also, as many times as I have seen it, there is no such thing as sole physical custody to one parent along with a parenting schedule for the other parent. If both parents are to see the children, whatever the schedule, that is joint physical custody by definition.
• Split Custody :: This is an arrangement where the children are “split up” between the two parents, meaning that some of the children reside with one parent while the other children reside with the other parent. This is not too common, but it does happen. Courts are usually reluctant to split up children except in the most unique of circumstances, but the parents can agree to such an arrangement if they feel it is best.
• Full Custody :: There is no definition of Full Custody in Missouri and it has no legal significance. When referring to this, people are talking about some combination of the above types of custody.
• Primary Custody :: This is no longer a legal definition in Missouri. Now it is called “residential address for education and mailing purposes.” It usually means the home where the children reside for the greater amount of time, and the home that is in the children’s school district. The parents are supposed to be equal so they are no longer referred to as the primary parent and the lesser parent.
• Visitation :: This is the time where you view the body before a funeral. So, if you are talking about your kids, call it something else, like “parenting time”.

Hopefully, this helps to clarify a little bit, but when it comes down to it, it is still just a bunch of words on paper. Put the children first, focus on what is best for them and what will really work with your family, and don’t get too wrapped up in the terminology.

Source:  "Full Custody, Joint Custody, Sole or Split? Or maybe 50/50. What do I really want and what exactly do these words mean in Missouri anyway?" by Mark Wortman, published at his Missouri Divorce & Family Law Blog.

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Spartanburg attorneys David Turnipseed, Doug Brannon, Brac Turnipseed and Ben Stevens have combined their practices to create Turnipseed, Brannon & Stevens.

“This new partnership provides a tremendous added value for all our clients,” said David Turnipseed, whose office at 128 Magnolia St. now serves as the new headquarters. “By joining forces, we will be able to provide additional levels of service while continuing our primary mission of protecting Spartanburg families’ rights during difficult times.”

Turnipseed, Brannon & Stevens is a full-service family law, criminal law and personal injury firm.

With more than 60 years of experience, the attorneys’ knowledge and integrated legal philosophies complement and enhance one other, the firm said. Stevens brings a technological interest to the mix, known nationally as “the Mac lawyer.” Brannon is a criminal defense attorney with a strong civic commitment to the Spartanburg community.

Source: "Spartanburg Attorneys Join Forces" published in GSA Business.

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The South Carolina Family Law Blog was named one of the Top 100 Divorce/Family Law Blogs.  I am very pleased to have received this honor and to have been named along with such other prominent family law blogs.  2009 was a great year for this blog, and I am excited about all the great things that 2010 holds.  You can view the whole list here.

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Custody Battle: Dad's Story – A new generation of fathers is fighting for custody – and a fair shake in court:

“Yes, but who’s going to cook them dinner?” When Ben Oshman got that question from a judge hearing his request for custody of his three kids, he was furious. Because whatever new challenges moms have these days, when it comes to custody, things haven’t changed much for dads—especially the gender-based stereotypes that render them the second most important parent.

But now, dads are fighting back, demanding custody where custody’s due. Their motivation is simple: “I wanted to have kids. I wanted to have the family,” says Oshman, who ended up getting joint custody of his three girls. To him, divorce “didn’t mean I should have to give up my family.”

A groundswell of support is rising up for dads seeking custody, as evidenced by the increasing number of groups like dads rights (dadsrights.org), Custody Warriors, and dadsdivorce.com. “Fathers increasingly want to be more deeply involved with their children”—a desire that doesn’t disappear after divorce, says Danny Guspie, executive director of Fathers resources international, a group that advises divorced dads. “When you see some dads have success, it encourages others.”

Thirty years ago, dads never litigated for custody, says Jeffery M. Leving, a Chicago lawyer at the forefront of the fathers’ rights movement. “Men didn’t place fatherhood at the top of their priorities. Now, if they face a divorce, their children are their main priority, and they will fight to avoid being kicked to the curb.”

Bottom line: dads say they’ve become better parents, so they deserve a better chance. “They’re demanding more fairness,” says Leving, “and sometimes they’re getting it.”

Philip Lerman is the author of Dadditude: How a Real Man Became a Real Dad.

Source:  "Custody Battle: Dad's Story" by Philip Lerman, published at Working Mother magazine. 

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Clients often wonder what they should wear to Court for their hearing.  The answer can vary depending on whether your case is contested or non-contested.  If your case is not contested, such as a no-fault divorce or approval of an agreement, then the following attire is recommended:

• For Men:  A nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt or golf shirt would be appropriate. A sports coat or suit may be worn but certainly is not required. Shoes and socks should be worn as “flip flops” are prohibited. Shorts are not permitted to be worn in the Courtroom, nor are tank tops, tee shirts, shirts reflecting foul or vulgar language or politically incorrect language, or hats.
• For Women:  A dress, skirt and top, or slacks and a nice top would be appropriate. As in the paragraph above, it would not be appropriate to appear in Court in shorts, a halter top, or a skimpy tank top, or flip flops.

In contested cases, where the parties will testify against one another, the Court's impression of each party is much more important, and the proper and/or appropriate attire for either party changes dramatically.  For instance, in a contested divorce or child custody hearing, wherein each party would be on the witness stand for protracted periods of time, the following attire would be appropriate:

• For Men: Same as above; however, a sports coat or suit could be worn but would not be considered mandatory. If the Husband/Father is seeking custody of his child or children, he would want to be dressed conservatively – nothing too flashy, nothing too out-of-the ordinary. For example, if a young Husband is seeking custody of his children, he could receive “negative” points if he appeared in Court in non-traditional attire such as Black Gothic Style clothing or wildly colored hair. Remember, that most Judges are older conservative individuals. If the Husband/Father has an abundance of tattoos, he should consider wearing a long-sleeved shirt to “cover” them.  Also, it would be advisable for the client to remove evidence of body piercings – ears, lips, nose, eyebrows, etc.
• For Women:  The main point to remember is that this is not the time to appear to be “hot” or “sexy” – especially if you are seeking custody of your children. You want to appear stable, sensible, warm and loving. Soft colors are better than bright and vibrant colors. Longer skirt lengths are better than short skirt lengths. You do not want to wear anything that would be considered “too short, too skimpy, too wild, too bold, or too sexy”.

Typically, clients should dress for Court as they would for church or an important job interview. If you are in the armed services, wearing your military attire is a very safe choice. If you look sloppy or inappropriate, the Judge may believe that you are showing or displaying a lack of respect for the Court.  Never forget that you have only one opportunity to create that “first impression”, so consider these “do’s and don’ts” in advance of your Court date and make a good impression with the Judge.

Source:  "How To Dress For Court – Do’s And Don’ts" by Robert L. Mues, published at his Ohio Family Law Blog.

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