Fathers vs "Sperm Donors"
I never cease to be amazed by the terrible, hurtful things that people say to each other. For instance, I had a client several years ago whose ex-wife sent a card to him from his young children on Father's Day that said Happy "Sperm Donor's" Day. Needless to say, when we introduced that card as an exhibit in our custody case against her, the Court was less than amused. Fortunately, at least in that instance, all's well that ends well, as my client obtained custody of his children in that case. However, I am sure that every Father's Day he cannot help but remember those hurtful words.
One of the (many) blogs I follow is the Just Another Disenfranchised Father blog, which had a post a few weeks ago on this topic. The (anonymous) author insightfully wrote that "fathers are not sperm donors and sperm donors are not fathers." He states that a sperm donor is someone who provides a service, whereas a father is a person who is known to a child. The father was one of two willing participants in the conception and birth of the child and has normally participated in its upbringing at least up to a certain point.
In the context discussed in this post, the term "sperm donor" is used as an epithet, and it is intended to objectify the father. The anonymous author asks if the father pays child support to the mother, she might just as well call him "the walking wallet" instead. My experience has (unfortunately) shown that separated parents can often allow their dislike for each other spill over into their relationship with their children. They lose sight of the fact that the child still loves both parents in most cases, and it is certainly devastating to hear one parent make mean-spirited comments about the other.
In cases where this occurs, the Court will often issue a Restraining Order which prohibits each parent from making any derogatory, demeaning, or unkind remarks about the other in the presence of the minor child, and also from allowing anyone else to do so. Obviously, it would be much better if common sense would prevail and make such Restraining Orders unnecessary. If only parents would think, "would you have liked your mother to describe your father this way or thought better of her if she had?"
Keep up the great work on your blog. Best wishes WaltDe