Are courts more likely to award custody to mothers than to fathers?
In the past, most states provided that custody of children of "tender years" (about five and under) had to be awarded to the mother when parents divorced. In most states, this rule has either been rejected entirely or relegated to the role of tie-breaker if two otherwise fit parents request custody of their preschool children. No state now requires that a child be awarded to the mother without regard to the fitness of both parents. Most states require their courts to determine custody on the basis of what's in the children's best interests, without regard to the parent's gender.
As it turns out, many divorcing parents agree that the mother will have custody after a separation or divorce and that the father will exercise reasonable visitation. This sometimes happens because the parents agree that the mother has more time, a greater inclination, or a better understanding of the children's daily needs. But it can also be because fathers presume that mothers will be awarded custody or because the mother is more tenacious in seeking custody.
If you are a father and want to ask the court for physical custody, do not let gender stereotypes stop you. If both you and the mother work full-time, and the kids have after-school care, you may be on equal footing. In fact, if you have more flexible hours than the mother, you could have a leg up. In any event, the judge will look at what's best for the children. So if you think that you should have primary custody and that you can persuade the judge that it's in the kids' best interests, you should go ahead and ask for custody. If you present yourself as willing and able to parent, it will go a long way towards challenging any lingering prejudice against you as a father.
Copyright 2005 Nolo
i have full custody of my 15 yr daughter her father has visitation rights i am telling her that she can not do certain things and he is allowing it when she is with him can he do this and if not what can i do to stop it.
I divorced my wife after I found her with another man in our bed. At the time of this incident she left the home leaving the three children with me. At that time my children were 5,6 & 7. I worked at least 60 hour weeks to support my family. Daycare for them was difficult, at first my Mother would watch them, she then became ill with breast cancer and the maternal grandparents offered to take care of the children only if I would temperorily give them custody which I did. This had turned out to be a mistake, I now have a 40 hour week and make enough money to care for my children. The grandparents will not give up custody. What are my legal rights as a "FIT" parent to gain custody from them?
Michelle, I don't mean to be rude. I don't think you should have any right to impinge your views upon your ex's visitation time, unless the law is being broken, and vise versa.
Actually, I'm in the same situation with my sixteen and fifteen year old daughters. I've explained to them that the rules of the household apply depending upon whose household they reside in at the moment. They argue with me that my ex let's them do this and that, I respond that what they're allowed to do while in another's custody is not my problem and refuse to argue with them.
Remember, your dealing with a 15 year old, and the mentality level between you is not equal. Arguing with a child is a losing proposition, and allows the child to obtain power over you as the adult.
When my daughters start arguing with me, I clam up instead of fueling the flames.