SC Family Lawyer Featured in Article About Parental Alienation
Lawyers Weekly USA recently published an excellent article on parental alienation syndrome (PAS). "Parental Alienation: The Latest Weapon in Nasty Divorces" takes an inside look at the various aspects of PAS from the perspectives of those involved in the legal system. The article features interviews with psychologist Richard Gardner and several divorce attorneys: Steve Pradell of Anchorage, Alaska; Susan Gallagher of Minneapolis, Minnesota; Michael R. Walsh of Orlando, Florida; Patrick O'Reilly of Buffalo, New York; and me, Ben Stevens.
Some of the quotes from me in this article are:
- Although parental alienation has become a common weapon in custody cases around the country, proving it can be a tall order. "It's like everything else in a custody case - it all comes down to what you can prove at trial. A lot of bad things happen, but they're very difficult to prove," said Ben Stevens of Stevens MacPhail in Spartanburg, S.C.
- But the heart of any parental alienation case is the expert testimony, according to Stevens. "Take the child to a mental health professional and let him do testing," he suggested. "Then you've got an expert witness to come and say, 'In my expert opinion, this is what's going on.'"
- Third-party witnesses can also be a powerful weapon in court. "Try to line up witnesses that would have had the opportunity to see [the parent] interact with the child. Teachers, scout leaders, dance teachers, karate teachers - people who see them during times when parents let their guard down and can say, 'I've never seen Dad say anything bad about Mom or Mom say anything bad about Dad,'" Stevens suggested.
- "I encourage my clients to act reasonably, assume anything they do or say could be shown to the judge - or better yet, that the judge is standing there watching," said Stevens. "I don't know if that's great advice or I've just had good clients, but I haven't had many alienation claims alleged against my clients."
- Stevens is also careful to take cases he believes in strongly. "It's not worth it to me to deal with clients who are acting deliberately," he said. "If they're going to do that to their child's parent, I'm going to have a problem with them at some point."
Source: "Parental Alienation: The Latest Weapon in Nasty Divorces" by Amy Johnson Conner, published at Lawyers Weekly USA.
Hey,
Nice to see some people in the south recognize PAS for what it is. Now hoping NC will finally GET IT.Actually hope the courts will finally begin to recognize this as well as PAS combined with Narc. Personality Disorder. Too bad it is the children who suffer when one cannot find or afford expert testimony.
Keep up the great work.
Ben, While there are most certainly children who are alienated from a parent, there are many causes. I think the late Richard Gardner has been widely discredited. There is no parental alienation syndrome recognized by any reputable psychologists. Where you have an alienated child, the mental health professionals should determine the reason. Sometimes it is caused by a parent, but that does not a syndrome make.
Diana, thanks for your comments. I believe that the formal "diagnosis" should be left to the mental health professionals, as that is clearly their area of expertise.
However, the problems caused by "alienating" parents are all too real, as are the effects on the children involved. Suggestions for resolving those problems were the thrust of my comments in this article.
Again, thanks for comments and keep up the great work with your blog.
As someone who is and has been continually harrassed by a malicious ex, who most definately suffers from Divorced Related Malicious Mother Syndrome, with symptoms of MSP, I see the problems of Parental Alienation first hand. It is all too real, and it is one of the most severe forms of child abuse. The malicious ex will stop at no boundry to cause harm and emotional distress towards his/her ex spouse, including leading the children to commit acts of violence and deliquincy.
In my case, the abuse has happened in plain view, and is very easy to prove. But, just because you can prove the abuse is occuring, the alienated individual has very little recourse with the exception being a tort of Intentional Infliction To Cause Emotional Distress, or a very hard to file Rule TO Show Cause if there is a previous order. Unfortunately, the alienating spouse sometimes has nothing to lose by poisoning his/her childrens minds. As a result, the children in cases of parental alientation grow up with a maladjusted view of society, and thus are in danger of further pychological ailiments, legal problems, and the aspect of becoming alienators themselves.
In my view, the law should provide much greater discipline towards alienating parents, and much greater recourses towards victims. Also, since parental alienation is a severe form of child abuse, it should be treated as such on a criminal status.
Furthermore, if anyone can help in a case where proof is blatently evident, and children are openingly being cotributed towards commiting deliquent acts , please contact me.
Parental alienation should be punishable by imprisonment until such a time as the minor reaches age of maturity, and responsible parties should be included in state child abuse registries.
The reasons I feel this should be are:
1. The parent responsible can not be trusted to obey court order in regards to the child/rens best interest, meaning normal court imposed disciplines do not and will not work to protect the child/ren.
2. The parental alienator is a child abuser, and should be treated as such.
3. The abuse is further complicated by the parental alienators contribution to the deliquency of a minor or minors.
4. The parental alienation syndrome has long lasting effects that last well into adulthood of minors, as such, it is a long lasting crime similar to rape in it's devastation, and in some ways worse as the syndrome starts a behavior loop lasting generations.
5. The parental devastation is not an attack on one person or child. The attack affects multiple victims. IE. The children, the workplace of the victim, the friends of the family, the economic wellbeing of the family, and the overall stability of the family and all involved.
Great comments by GOTROOTDUDE. There is plenty of debate that this is Parental Alientation Syndrome or not. Diane pointed this out eliquently.
Really, this comes down to a much simpler definition that is easy to understand. If a father or a mother was to do something harmful to a child, physically, mentally or sexually it would be called one thing. Child Abuse. Is it any different when someone works towards harming a child by removing a loving and caring parent from their life. Does it matter if its a man or a woman. To destroy the parent-child relationship, which without question has been proven to cause lifelong scars is child abuse. To hit a child and leave a mark is child abuse. Yet, the most tramatic thing is the emotional abuse that goes with it. IT pales in comparison to a child having a loving parent pried from their life do to the sick actions of a parent.
Lets get real here, call it what it is. It's deserved.
My 3-1/2 year old grandson saw his father drag his mother out of there truck. His Dad was arrested for domestic violence as a result (1st time reported abuse, but 3rd time physical abuse). He was traumatized and has PTS symptoms. He is allowed supervised visits with his Dad with his other grandparents as supervising party. However, they have allowed my grandson to be taken out of state alone with his Dad and to other places during the weekend visits. Now the child is telling us things that his Dad tells him such as his Dad said 'to tell you Mom I don't like your haircut',
'your mom stole money from me', 'daddy loves his mother but doesn't love my mommy' daddy said he was going to come back to live with me and that his mommey
had to go somewhere else to live, i want to live with my mommy, daddy said mommy was mean...etc. etc. etc. Also, my daddy said not to answer questions - which is a problem in preschool and as well as prevents my grandson from sharing important information that his mother needs to know not relating to his Dad, but to the child himself. We are lost as to how to handle this. A guardian has been appointed, but the process is too slow to try to protect the child - the other grandparents believe that my daughter 'provoked' the domestic violence and their son would never have hurt her otherwise. They are in contempt of court as far as supervised visits go, but they believe as long as they 'approved' his taking him alone, it was ok. How do we protect my grandson while allowing him to love and share time with him Dad/other grandparents and without putting the child at risk for futher abuse?
I have a teen who is refusing to visit with his dad. Mom says she cannot make him, dad says all was well until mom moved in with her BF, now her spouse. I have had the teen and dad in to hash out the differences The teen refuses to give dad a chance. dad states that mom and the step-dd are alienating the teen from him. Can a teen refuse to visit his parent? Dad has filed a motion for contempt of court against mom for her not enforcing the visitation.
I have a 12 yr old from a previous marriage (now remarried for 5 yrs) and we moved 1 yr ago to NC from CA. (With her dad's consent). He was hardly involved her life at all - maybe visited with her 22 days per year, and during those times he would take her to parties and put her and the other parent's kids in another room while they drank, and then he slept all the next day until it was time to bring her home. He also missed many weekends because of work, parties, being "sick", etc. Now, all of the sudden he got remarried and is suddenly "super dad", and the step mother has only known my daughter for 4 months, but is calling herself "mommie" because "step mom sounds too cold", and she is emailing my dd and calling her almost daily. I never had any problems with my ex, but now all of the sudden he is threatening to take us to court for custody, and telling my daughter things like, "well if I want to see you I don't need to ask your mom anymore, and from now on I won't ask her." They also tried to turn her against me while she was out for the summer, and talked bad about me and my husband, and spoiled her rotton to buy her loyalty, as well as tried to get her to want to come LIVE with them. I have raised my daughter all these years (he left me when she was a baby) and now all the sudden he wants sole custody? I don't know what I should do. I also don't know if I am obligated to her new step mom who thinks she is her new "mommie" and they are constantly manipulating her on the phone and through emails (and in person when she visits). Also, while she was out there, they let her create a Myspace saying she was 25, and she posted all kinds of sensual, immodest pictures of her on her Myspace and told her not to tell us about any of it (but we found out anyway). Any advice would be GREAT. Thanks.
Can anyone help me? I am the maternal grandmother of 8 year old twin girls, who reside in SC with their father. They lived in NH where my daughter gave birth to them in 1999. I was very involved with the day-to-day care of these tiny babies from birth. Due to some poor choices on my daughter's part custody was granted to their father who lives in SC. My granddaughters have lived with their Dad since 2003 when they were 4 years old.
In 2005, my daughter cleaned up her life and went through counseling, got a full time job, her own apartment and this fall enrolled in college. She contacted the twins' father in summer of 2006 to re-establish a relationship with her daughters. He answered her by filing a termination of her parental rights, which was granted by the State of SC. (My daughter tried to fight this action, but decided that she did not want to put her children through more counseling with a GAL, especially when she was living such a distance - in NH.)
Consequently, the father has denied me any telephonic visits since October 2006 and no physical visits since September 2005.