Can You Keep Your Child's Grades Away From Your Ex-Spouse?
The following insightful article was originally published at The Orsini & Rose Divorce and Family Law Blog:
Question: I was given sole custody. I know that means I have full control over where my child goes to school, goes to church, goes to the doctor, etc. My ex has asked the school to send my child's grades to both of us, not just to me. How do I make the school send the grades only to me?
Answer: My first question is, why would you want to deny your ex that information? Putting a block between your child and your ex will almost certainly backfire on you. Your child will most likely have a great difficulty understanding why you took a step, however small, to alienate him or her from your ex. Your may distrust your ex, fear your ex, even hate your ex, but your child probably doesn't. Your child, at any age, probably wants a relationship with your ex. I realize there are exceptions to this rule, especially at the older ages where children often become less attached to and dependent on their parents, but you should stay out of it. DON'T DO ANYTHING TO DISTANCE YOUR CHILD FROM YOUR EX unless you have a really, really, REALLY good reason. Like maybe a court order or a provable fear of harm to your child. Notice I said, "provable."
And most judges won't back you up if you try to keep grades from your ex. Most state's judges are very reluctant to prohibit a parent from seeing the grades of his or her child. Judges do what they can to unite children with estranged parents, and they are very reluctant to do anything that separates children from their parents in any way unless there is evidence of child abuse or some other direct harm to the child.
But that doesn't really answer your question, does it? Despite my warning, if you want to keep the grades from your ex, you can probably get away with it. Show the principal your "sole custody" order, and the school will probably send the grades only to you from that point forward. Your ex may complain to the school, but most school officials would recommend to your ex that the matter be taken up in court. Then they'd continue to send the report cards only to you. Keeping grades from your spouse may be wrong, but you'd probably be successful. Now that I've answered the question, I can only hope you'll use your newfound knowledge for good, not evil.
Source: "Can I Keep My Child's Grades Away From My Ex?" by Brent Rose, published at The Orsini & Rose Divorce and Family Law Blog.
Question: I was given sole custody. I know that means I have full control over where my child goes to school, goes to church, goes to the doctor, etc. My ex has asked the school to send my child's grades to both of us, not just to me. How do I make the school send the grades only to me?
Answer: My first question is, why would you want to deny your ex that information? Putting a block between your child and your ex will almost certainly backfire on you. Your child will most likely have a great difficulty understanding why you took a step, however small, to alienate him or her from your ex. Your may distrust your ex, fear your ex, even hate your ex, but your child probably doesn't. Your child, at any age, probably wants a relationship with your ex. I realize there are exceptions to this rule, especially at the older ages where children often become less attached to and dependent on their parents, but you should stay out of it. DON'T DO ANYTHING TO DISTANCE YOUR CHILD FROM YOUR EX unless you have a really, really, REALLY good reason. Like maybe a court order or a provable fear of harm to your child. Notice I said, "provable."
And most judges won't back you up if you try to keep grades from your ex. Most state's judges are very reluctant to prohibit a parent from seeing the grades of his or her child. Judges do what they can to unite children with estranged parents, and they are very reluctant to do anything that separates children from their parents in any way unless there is evidence of child abuse or some other direct harm to the child.
But that doesn't really answer your question, does it? Despite my warning, if you want to keep the grades from your ex, you can probably get away with it. Show the principal your "sole custody" order, and the school will probably send the grades only to you from that point forward. Your ex may complain to the school, but most school officials would recommend to your ex that the matter be taken up in court. Then they'd continue to send the report cards only to you. Keeping grades from your spouse may be wrong, but you'd probably be successful. Now that I've answered the question, I can only hope you'll use your newfound knowledge for good, not evil.
Source: "Can I Keep My Child's Grades Away From My Ex?" by Brent Rose, published at The Orsini & Rose Divorce and Family Law Blog.
I appreciate the way you handled that question. Good Job. Let's hope all of the spiteful ex's grow up and do good instead of evil.
My brother has sole custody of the 2 minor children because his ex-wife took the children and ran before the final divorce and custody hearing. After being on the run for 2 months, she was caught on the other side of the country and arrested. He traveled all the way from here (SC) by personal vehicle to get the children. She was given supervised visitaion through a local families in transition place. Recently, he was called to pre-approve a guest list for a birthday party she wanted to hold for them. He found out that she has since married the man that helped her run with the children. He told the business that oversees the supervision that the children's therapist said that it was on their best interest that they not see their new step father for the time being since the event that happened is not even a year old yet. They told him that since a marriage liscence was produced, then they had to allow the step father to see them as well. When my brother tries to be assertive about the children to his lawyer, she asks why he wants to do this to the mother of his children. What can he do? Yes he has anger toward his ex, but he is more concerned about the children's mental health than his ex's insistance of presenting a new husband to the children, especially after what all they went through for the 2 months that they were on the run with the 2 adults.