Empowering Parents :: Part Seven
I have been pleased to bring you the exclusive online presentation of "Empowering Parents" by Rev. Dr. Trey Kuhne, LMFT over the last six weeks. Today, I am please to present the final installment, and I want to thank Dr. Kuhne again for allowing me to once again present his series to you on my blog. Here is part seven:
Hopefully everyone reading this series has had time by now to go out and get at least one massage. The main part is to focus some on the self and to help the self deal with the stressors in our world with things like massage therapy.
This month, I want to focus on the financial difficulties in the family system, especially for parents with financially needy children. What I mean about financially needy children is that EVERY child is financially needy. Remember from their perspective the world and the family revolves around them and their need, though as parents you know that is not true. But they think it is. And it is for this very reason, that when financial times are tough that the family can share the burden and world together towards a solution. I recommend that parents share with their teenage children the changes that may need to be made within the family financially, being careful not to put too much burden upon the children to own the issue.
Nowadays, it is almost the acceptable norm that every teenager have a cell phone with unlimited text messaging, a car (of course with driving privileges), and a seemingly endless supply of money from the parents. As adults, when times get tough then we learn to be flexible and fluid. Those who can bend the most tend to weather the storms better. Flexibility is the key. We may sell a car, sell the boat, part with some of our stuff on ebay just to make ends meet. I think it is important that your children be a part of the struggling and be a part of the solution
Drop cable or dish TV. Turn off the cell phone. Stop using the car as frequently. Stop going out to eat as often. Stop the wasteful spending. Set a budget and keep it. Stop using credit cards. Drop the perks and reallocate the necessities. Limit the amount of money given to your child. Encourage them to get a job and work for their spending money. Give them an opportunity to pay for the cell phone or cable TV if it is that important to them. What happens when Mom or Dad loses a job and spends more time at home? Usually family life flourishes again and the family reconnects. Families may need to reevaluate the necessities and the perks in the family and adjust accordingly.
When the economy tanks as it has across our nation those most flexible and those most fluid tend to stand a much better chance at survival. It is also a message we hear in our faith. When we face trials and tribulations, be of good cheer because Christ has overcome the world! Let your children see you struggle and suffer and let them be a part of seeing God’s hand at work in His provision.
Being flexible with you in Christ,
Dr. Trey Kuhne
Dr. Trey Kuhne is a pastoral counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist with Pathways Pastoral Counseling located at St. Christopher’s Episcopal Church, 400 Dupre Drive, Spartanburg, SC 29307. He specializes in working with individuals, couples and families. Call (864) 542-3019 for an appointment. He may be reach via email at: pathwayspc@aol.com.
