Questions Couples Should Discuss Before Marriage

Posted on February 15, 2007 by J. Benjamin Stevens
The New York Times reports that relationship experts believe that couples should ask each other critical questions before marrying, including the following:
  1. Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
  2. Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
  3. Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
  4. Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
  5. Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
  6. Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
  7. Will there be a television in the bedroom?
  8. Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
  9. Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
  10. Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
  11. Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
  12. What does my family do that annoys you?
  13. Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
  14. If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
  15. Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
Source:  "Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying" published in The New York Times.
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Can Prenuptial Agreements Improve the Chances for Successful Marriages?

Posted on January 30, 2007 by J. Benjamin Stevens
A recent study conducted by the Harvard Law School addressed the misconception that a prenup increases the likelihood of divorce.  It concluded that a solid prenuptial agreement is likely to improve the chances of a successful marriage.

The study's author, Heather Mahar, argues that the division of assets is "the least compelling reason for average American couples to consider prenuptial agreements, since most couples do not enter marriages with significant assets."  However, "for couples who choose a traditional partnership, with one spouse exiting the workforce to raise children, agreeing in advance about how to divide assets earned during a marriage or potential future earnings can protect the stay-at-home spouse against divorce laws, which have generally eliminated long-term alimony."

This study contends that the process of creating a prenup acts as form of premarital counseling, making couples talk about what kind of marriage they want, and what legal ramifications there will be if one spouse veers off course.

Source:  "New Study Promotes Prenuptial (Prenup) Agreements for Successful Marriages" published at eMediaWire.  Thanks to Jeffrey Lalloway of the California Divorce and Family Law blog for his post about this article.
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