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The holiday season can be the best of times, but it can also be the worst of times if you have to fight over visitation issues.  Most family law attorneys will tell you that their phones ring off the hook this time of year answering questions about how best to resolve these problems. 

Dr. Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist, wrote an article for the "Today" show, which addresses several topics which divorced parents will find helpful.  For instance, she lists the following gift-giving guidelines suggested by Jennifer Lewis and William Sammons in their book, "Don’t Divorce Your Children":

• Don't attempt to have gifts replace parental time and attention.  Minutes mean more than dollars.
  
• If you leave the price tag on or you make a point of what the gift cost, it’s not really a gift — it’s a notice of debt or obligation.
• Don't purchase a gift instead of making a support payment, as it can seriously hurt the financial status of the other parent.
• Make sure that gifts to all your children are comparable in value in order to avoid even implying any favoritism.
• Don’t compete with the other parent or put the other parent in a position of resenting your gift.
  

Divorced parents may find the following pointers from Isolina Ricci of "Mom’s House, Dad’s House", helpful for holiday visitation planning:

• Come up with several versions for your holiday plans, specifically time with and without the children.
• Present these alternatives to the other parent and give him/her adequate time to consider your proposals and respond.
• Address the holiday plans well in advance and try to avoid waiting until the last minute.
• Once you have reached an agreement, follow up your understanding with a brief and informal note of confirmation.
  
• Be as specific as possible when making plans. Which parent will have the children, which day? For how long? Who will do the transporting?

Dr. Peters also made the following suggestions, which can be invaluable:

• Follow the rules once the schedule has been resolved or agreed upon.
• Respect the other parent’s religious practices, even if they are different from yours.
• Begin your own holiday traditions to enjoy the holidays together.
• If your ex is uncooperative, keep the children's best interest at the forefront and ahead of your own interests.
  

All of these suggestions are discussed in greater depth in Dr. Peter's article, which you can read by clicking HERE.

Source:  "Give Peace to Your Family This Holiday Season" by Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D., published at MSNBC.com.  Thanks to Daniel C. Nunley of the Oklahome Family Law Blog for his post about this article.