South Carolina Family Law Blog : Spartanburg Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Turnipseed, Brannon & Stevens Law Firm : South Carolina Family Law Serving Columbia, Charleston, Greenville, Hilton Head Island

South Carolina Lawyers Weekly reported in its January 19, 2009, edition that "A Divorce Fast" has withdrawn its business from South Carolina after numerous complaints from its customers and an investigation from our state Attorney General's office.  

This company advertised in the attorneys section of telephone books in numerous cities around the state (including Greenville and Spartanburg), offering an email service that purported to allow people to download divorce forms.  Apparently, it charged fees from $125 to $500, but it then failed or refused to provide follow-up service after the sale to its customers.

Even worse, the forms that were downloaded were often inadequate or incomplete, which resulted in its clients basically wasting their money and still being left trying to represent themselves.  As is the case with many of these "money saving schemes," I suspect that many people end up paying much more trying to resolve the problems caused by their attempt to save a few dollars in the beginning.

According to the article, "A Divorce Fast" has agreed to reimburse all of its customers in South Carolina that the Attorney General's office investigators can locate within a year.  If you or someone you know has fallen victim to this company, you can contact the Unauthorized Practice of Law Section of the South Carolina Attorney General's office at (803) 734-3606.

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Question:

Can South Carolina grant me a divorce if I was married in North Carolina?

Answer:

The State in which you were married does not have anything to do with the State in which you can get divorced or separated.  If both you and your spouse have lived in South Carolina for more than three months (or either one of you for over a year), then SC will have jurisdiction to address your separation/divorce case.

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You might not know that attorneys in South Carolina are appointed to represent indigent persons in various types of legal matters, including abuse and neglect cases filed in the Family Court by the Department of Social Services.  Most attorneys are appointed to handle at least ten (10) such cases each and every year, and some of these cases last well over a year themselves.

In the past, attorneys would be reimbursed nominal compensation of $40.00 per hour for handling these types of cases.  Of course, handling these cases requires that the attorney take time away from his/her other (paying) clients' cases and his/her family to do so.  Recently, our state legislature, the General Assembly, refused to appropriate sufficient money to fund this system, and the attorneys in South Carolina were notified approximately two weeks ago that no reimbursement would be forthcoming for any requests made after December 31, 2008.

The President of the South Carolina Bar, Flo Lester Vinson, issued the following statement on December 29, 2008, about this situation:

The Bar is deeply distressed over the announcement of the suspension of payment of legal fees to court-appointed attorneys in non-capital cases. Prior to this latest announcement, the General Assembly had failed to appropriate any recurring funding for cases involving abuse and neglect of children; the elderly and the vulnerable; termination of parental rights; appointments of guardians ad litem; and other matters heard in family courts across the state. The recently announced elimination of funds to provide representation for many of those accused of crimes further undermines the ability to protect the constitutional rights of our citizens. The Bar is appreciative of the efforts made to sustain the statewide public defender offices, but more resources must be made available and court appointments without compensation must cease.

South Carolina currently ranks 43rd out of 50 states in public defense spending. Public defense is a constitutional right and in many instances a legislative mandate, not a discretionary program. It is extremely disheartening to see that the resources for those seeking due process and competent representation are being compromised, rather than protected. Providing for the protection of constitutional rights through financial resources and personnel is the responsibility of the legislative and executive branches. The State's obligation should not continue to be borne by a small number of private citizens - the legal profession.

Virtually all attorneys in South Carolina are glad to be able to assist with this needed public service of representing indigent clients in these types of cases, but they want (and deserve) some compensation for doing so.  If you feel strongly about this issue, then please contact your state legislator to let him/her know your concerns and your feelings on this important issue.

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Question:  I have been married four months, and I love my husband completely.  We have had our share of arguments, and he has now told me that he wants a divorce. I do not want to divorce, because I think our problems are fixable and are not uncommon in marriages.  Is there anything I can do to not let my husband divorce me?

Answer:  The short answer is "no."  In South Carolina, if one spouse wants a divorce, he or she will be able to obtain it, regardless of whether the other spouse agrees.  It is always a sad situation when one spouse wants a divorce but the other does not, but you must face the reality that this will happen if he chooses to pursue it, and you should take the necessary steps to protect yourself and your interests accordingly.

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As mentioned today at my The Mac Lawyer blog, Google announced earlier this week that it added video and voice chat capability to Gmail, making a great product that much better.  Now, anyone with a Gmail account can chat with virtually anyone else -- for free.  Of course, Mac users have had the benefit of iChat for quite some time, but Google has really opened the floodgates with this technology to bring it to the masses.

From a family law perspective, this technology can make it easier for parents to communicate with their children.  More tech-savvy clients can also utilize this technology to have face-to-face meetings with their attorneys from their homes or offices.  The process is literally as simple as setting up a (free) Gmail account, clicking on the Chat drop-down list, and then selecting who you want to talk to.

If you want to learn more about Google's video and voice chats, you can read more in the following articles:

• "Say Hello to Gmail Voice and Video Chat" published at The Official Gmail Blog
• "Google Adds Voice and Video Chat to Gmail" published at TechCrunch
• "Gmail Launching Voice and Video Chat!" published at ZDNet

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Today is election day, and it is an historic one.  Our country will either elect its first minority President or its first female Vice President.  No matter which candidate you support, I sincerely hope that you will exercise your right to vote today and that you will take your children with you when you do.  

Taking your children with you to vote provides an excellent opportunity to discuss the election process in our country, the differences between the political parties, and how lucky we are as Americans to have the right to a free, fair election.  

I am proud to say that I have voted in every primary and election since I have been of voting age, and I have taken my children with me every year since they were born.  As they get older, we have some amazing discussions about the political process.  You should take this opportunity too with your own children if you are able to do so.

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The ABA Law Trends & News recently published an excellent article by Aaron Larson which examines the issue of grandparents' rights with regard to visitation.  This article gives the background and current state of federal law with regard to this issue, particularly in light of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in Troxell v. Granville from 2000.

Mr. Larson explains that the main arguments made by those in favor of grandparents' rights include:

• Grandparents may provide a stabilizing role in their grandchildren's lives, particularly after a divorce or crisis (such as the death of a parent).
• Where grandparents have been involved in a child's life, it can be traumatic to the child to suddenly be denied access.
• The mere fact that parents are divorced, or the grandparents's child dies or is incarcerated, should not automatically serve to grant the custodial parent the right to sever a positive relationship between the grandparents and their grandchildren.

Of course, those opposing the rights of grandparents focus on the following arguments:

• The the state has no business interfering with the child-rearing decisions of competent parents, even if the parent determines that grandparent visitation will not be permitted.
• Some grandparents are excluded from their grandchildren's lives for good cause-for example, because they were abusive to their own children and cannot be trusted with the grandchildren. Some grandparents interfere with ordinary parental decision making, or badmouth one or both parents to the grandchildren, creating unnecessary conflict.
• Where conflict exists between parents and grandparents, even if the parents are being unreasonable, court interference can destabilize the home environment of the grandchildren.

I wrote an in-depth post a few years ago on this subject, with an emphasis of its application in South Carolina in light of the S.C. Supreme Court's decision in Camburn v. Smith in 2003.  You can read my earlier post by clicking HERE, and you can read Mr. Larson's entire article, "Grandparents’ Rights to Visitation" by clicking HERE.

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One of questions that family law attorneys are most frequently asked is some variation of "Can the other party be required to reimburse me for my attorney's fees and costs?" or "Will I be required to pay the other side's attorney's fees?" 

Many times, each party will pay his or her own attorney's fees ... but not always.  The cases in which one side will be required to pay the other's attorney's fees and costs typically fall into one of the following categories:

• Unequal Finances  ::  One spouse earns significantly more than the other, such as the husband earning $120k per year, whereas his wife's salary is only $40k per year.  This can also occur when one spouse has possession / control of significantly more assets than the other.  The Court usually tries to "level the playing field" as best it can.
• Clear Wins / Losses  ::  At the conclusion of a case, it is clear that the case was one-sided and the losing party had no realistic chance of prevailing.  For instance, the wife insists that she is entitled to receive alimony despite the fact that the parties' incomes are approximately equal and they have only been married for a very short period of time.
• Misconduct During Litigation  ::  One spouse engages in a pattern of conduct during the course of the case in order to increase his / her spouse's legal fees and costs.  This can happen when there has been excessive discovery in an otherwise simple case or where one attorney attempts to "drown" the other with correspondence and other unnecessary requests.
• Fault Ground Divorce  ::  If one spouse obtains a divorce on one of the fault grounds (adultery, physical cruelty, habitual drunkenness, etc.), it is not uncommon for the other party to be required to reimburse that spouse all or part of the attorney's fees, private investigator's fees, etc. incurred in obtaining the divorce.

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The South Carolina Supreme Court recently addressed the issue of whether a bigamous marriage can become valid if the prior marriage was annulled.  In Lukich v. Lukich, the Court found that a second marriage was bigamous, despite the annulment of the wife's first marriage, because the annulment was not procured until after the second marriage ceremony.  The Court specifically found that "while an annulment order relates back in most senses, it does not have the ability to validate the bigamous second 'marriage.'"  

Here are the interesting (yet complicated) facts of the Lukich case:

• In 1973, Wife married Husband #1.  They never lived together, but never divorced.
• In 1985, Wife and Husband #2 participated in a marriage ceremony.
• In 2002, Wife filed an action seeking separate support and maintenance and other related relief from Husband #2.  During the course of discovery, Husband #2 learned Wife had never been divorced from Husband #1.
• In 2003, Husband #2 filed an action seeking to declare his marriage to Wife void because it was bigamous.
• After that action was filed, Wife filed a separate suit seeking an annulment of her marriage to Husband #1.  That case was expedited, and an Order granting her an annulment was filed on October 31, 2003.
• Wife then filed a motion to dismiss Husband #2’s bigamy action based on the October 31, 2003, Order granting her an annulment and declaring her first marriage void ab initio. 
• The Family Court held that Wife was barred from defending against Husband #2’s action to void the parties' marriage on the basis of the Order of Annulment.
• Wife appealed, and both the Court of Appeals and Supreme Court affirmed, finding that since there was no marriage when the ceremony between Wife and Husband #2 was performed in 1985, there was nothing to be "revived" by the annulment Order in 2003.

You can read the full text of Lukich v. Lukich by clicking HERE.

 

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Question:  Does the Family Court have any sentence guidelines or limits on how long a person can be sent to jail for failure to pay child support?  I have heard that six months was the maximum sentence.

Answer:  There are no "sentencing guidelines" in Family Court, and the punishments imposed for contempt issues can vary from Judge to Judge and case to case.  However, the maximum sentence that can be imposed for a willful violation of a Court Order is (a) one year in jail, (b) $1,500 fine, (c) 300 hours of community service, or (d) any combination of the above.

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Question:  I am currently behind on child support, and my ex-husband tells me I can't see my son because the Court Order states that my visitation is at the discretion of the father and since I remarried outside of our race I can't see him.  I have already served a six month sentence for being behind on the child support and I am now even more behind.  I don't have a job, but I am trying to attend college classes so that I can get a good job to support my son.  What can I do?

Answer:  The Court typically views child support and visitation as separate issues, and the failure to pay child support doesn't mean that visitation can be denied.  The problem in your situation is that there is no set visitation and it's at his discretion.

Your best course of action here is to bring an action to have the visitation specified, so that you will have a set schedule which will allow you to visit.  If he then denies your visitation, you can use the Court's contempt powers to enforce the Order. 

His attempt to deny visitation based upon your marrying "outside of your race" will certainly not hold up, as the Court will not endorse his racist views or allow him to discriminate upon that basis.  In fact, if he makes this claim in the Court case, it is likely to alienate or anger the Judge, which will end up working in your favor.

In the action to have the visitation schedule set, you can also seek to have the child support recalculated based on your going back to school, and hopefully the Court will set an amount that you will be able to pay to avoid future contempt situations.

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I recently had someone ask me (a) whether a mother can move her child away from South Carolina without letting the father know the child's whereabouts and (b) whether there would be any consequences for her doing so. 

My initial response was simply to shake my head in disbelief that someone could even ask such a question.  Will there be consequences for a mother taking a child away from its father and refusing to let the father know where the child is? YES -- unless the father simply does not care, there will certainly be repercussions for the mother's conduct. 

The father can choose to file a contempt action against the mother (if her move results in the father being denied his ordered visitation).  He can also file an action seeking a change of custody based not only on the mother moving the child outside of SC, but also upon her attempt to alienate him from his child.

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Question:  My husband left about three month ago, and he and I haven't had any contact since then. How long must I wait before I can file for divorce?

Answer:  If you have only been separated for 90 days, then neither of you can file for a divorce yet, unless one or more of the fault grounds (adultery, alcohol/drug abuse, or physical abuse) are involved.  If there is no fault, then you must live apart for a year before you can file for a divorce.  However, you can file for a legal separation now, and in many situations, it is a smart idea to do so and protect yourself and your assets, rather than simply doing nothing for a year.

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Question:  I have been separated from my spouse for 4 months.  I would now like to start dating again. If I do so, can my spouse pursue a divorce from me based on adulery?  I am concerned because I don't want to lose my house.

Answer:  You have several issues referenced in your question.  If you are "legally separated" (meaning you have been issued a Decree of Separate Maintenance from the Family Court), then none of the financial issues addressed in that Order will be changed by any adultery at this point.  However, if you are only physically separated (meaning you are simply living apart from your spouse), then any adultery at this point will most liklely have an effect on how the financial issues in your case are decided.  Finally, if you are still married, your spouse can file for a divorce on the ground of adultery whether you are legally separated or not.

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Question:  My wife's attorney recently served me with papers seeking a contested divorce.  I now live in a different state from my wife.  My wife knows that I have already retained an attorney in the same state in which she lives, but her attorney served the papers on me anyway instead of sending them to my attorney.  Do they have to send these papers to my attorney since he has been hired to represent me, or is it my responsibility to deal with them?

Answer:  In South Carolina, when a Family Court action is filed, the pleadings are almost always served on the other party, because the attorney usually does not know whether or not that person has hired an attorney.  In many cases, people claim that they have an attorney, when in fact they do not or when they have only met for an initial consultation.  If the other party really is represented by an attorney, that person can authorize his/her attorney to accept service of the pleadings on his/her behalf.  In any event, all you need to do in this situation is simply forward the papers to your lawyer for him to review and handle for you.

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Question:  I have custody of my child, and we live in South Carolina.  The child's father lives in another state, and he pays child support and visits with our child.  Our child was given my maiden name as his last name when he was born.  I have remarried, and I now want to change the child's last name to my married name.  The child's father does not agree with my desire to change his name.  What can I do?

Answer:  Should you wish to change the child's last name, the child's father must be named as a party in the Family Court case seeking to do so.  If he objects, it is unlikely that the Court will grant your request for the change.  Also, you may want to consider the possibility that the father could counterclaim and ask that the Court change the child's last name to his name.

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Question:  In our divorce, I was ordered to sell our marital home and to pay all of the expenses for it until it is sold.  Will I be held in contempt of court if I can't afford to make the payments and the house goes into foreclosure?


Answer:  Yes, you can be held in contempt under those circumstances.  However, the Court can consider whether your failure to comply with the terms of the Order was "willful" or "not willful", which can impact what the Judge decides to do in that case.

Typically, the Court will not let someone be ordered to do something, fail to do it, harm the other side, and then not be punished in some way.  Under the facts you listed, you may want to consider taking additional steps to sell the property (changing Realtors, reducing the price, etc.) to help remedy the situation as soon as possible.

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Question:  This is the weekend that I am scheduled to have visitation with my children.  If the children's mother does not bring them, should I try to have her held in contempt of court?  Should I file a police report, or what else can I do to help me with proof in court?

Answer:  If the Mother does not comply with the visitation requirements set forth in your Order, then you can (and probably should) consider filing a contempt action to enforce the Order.  If she is allowed to deny you visitation without penalty, it is very likely that she will continue to do so more frequently.

In order to maximize your chances of success in the contempt action, you need to have proof of her violations of the Order.  To prove that she failed to bring the children, you can certainly get a police report, as that is often a very helpful document to have later.  Another option is to have a witness present with you at the exchange time / location to verify that she did not have the children there for you.

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Question:  In South Carolina, if you live with a boyfriend/girlfriend while you are separated from your spouse, will it impact custody or visitation?

Answer:  Most judges take the position that living with your lover, particularly while you still married to someone else, creates an "immoral environment", which is not in the best interest of the children.  For that reason, it can be a huge factor in a custody or visitation case.

In situations like this, it is always better to discuss your circumstances with an experienced family law attorney before making any major decisions.  By doing so, you can find out what options are available to you based on the facts of your particular case and discuss what the impact of those options and avoid creating unnecessary obstacles or problems for yourself and/or your case.

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Question:  I want to file a contempt action to prove that someone is violating a Court Order.  If I have someone take pictures to help prove this violation, does that person have to be a licensed private investigator?

Answer:  Evidence of a violation of a court order can come from anyone with first-hand knowledge.  If photos are being used for that purpose, the person taking them can introduce them at a hearing, and that person is not required to be a licensed private investigator. 

However, if the person has any bias at all (such as being a friend or family member), then his/her credibility can be questioned and possibly compromised.  When you use a private investigator, then his objectivity will not be questioned, as he is simply "doing his job." 

Also, since a private investigator is essentially a professional witness, you will typically get better (i.e. more helpful) evidence than a non-professional would get.  For instance, taking photographs in low light situations is difficult, and knowing what type of information the Court wants to see can make a big difference.

If you need more information, you can read the following articles that I've written about using private investigators in Family Court:

• Using Private Investigators in Family Court Cases
• Surveillance on Your Spouse
• What Can a Private Investigator Do For You?
• How to Hire the Right Private Investigator
• Hiring a Private Investigator for Your Divorce, Child Custody, or Visitation Case

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One of the most common complaints clients make about their attorneys is that they are difficult to reach.  I hear this over and over from potential clients seeking to change lawyers.  These complaints range from the failure to return telephone calls promptly enough to the attorney being completely impossible to reach for days or weeks on end.

Since Family Court cases deal with extremely important issues, such as child custody, financial issues, divorce, etc., clients are understandably anxious to talk with their lawyer when issues arise.  If I was in the client's shoes, the questions that I would want to have answered as part of my process of evaluating an attorney and his firm are:

• How long does it typically take to get in touch with the attorney?
• What methods of communication does the lawyer use and/or prefer?
• What are the law firm's office hours?
  
• What happens if an emergency arises after hours?

At Stevens ◆ MacPhail, P.A., we strive to return all telephone calls on the day that they are received or the following morning if they are received late in the day.  To avoid playing "phone tag" with our clients, our legal assistants schedule telephone conferences for the client to speak with the attorney at a specific time.  This process is a win-win situation for both the client and the attorney.  It allows the attorney to prepare for the call and have the file and other necessary information in front of him at the specified time.  Perhaps more importantly, it allows the client to have the attorney's undivided attention, instead of catching him in the middle of whatever else he was working on at that time.

Our firm also uses a great deal of technology, which helps us provide better client service.  Our clients are provided with the email addresses for their attorney (and his assistant), so that the client can provide necessary informaiton and ask questions when they arise.  Many clients find that email works better than phone calls in certain situations, as it gives them the time to organize their thoughts before submitting it to the attorney.  Our attorneys have laptop computers and often respond to clients' email at night or on the weekends.  Our firm also stores all documents electronically, which means that they can be emailed to clients at any time.

Normal office hours at our firm are 8:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on Friday.  In special situations, we can make arrangements to meet with clients before or after our normal office hours.  If a true emergency arises, our attorneys are listed in the telephone book and can be reached at home.  However, since we have families too and enjoy spending time with them, we reserve the right to charge an additional fee for calls made to our homes.

These issues are important, and you should think about them when choosing an attorney.  In today's world, I don't think that it makes sense to hire an attorney who is not technologically savvy.  Having your lawyer efficiently use such tools as email, electronic document storage, cell phones, etc. can greatly improve your attorney-client relationship and result in you receiving better service and maybe a better outcome in your case.  The bottom line is that you should never hire a lawyer who won’t respond promptly to your needs.

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Question:  I have been told that since I am unmarried and live with my fiance', the Court will give custody of my child to her father who never sees her.  How can that be?

Answer:  First, you should be careful as to believing what "others" may tell you, as only your attorney can give you accurate advice specific to your particular case.  The things that your friends, co-workers, and/or family members may tell you (no matter how well intentioned they may be) may not necessarily be true or applicable to your case.

Now, if you are living with a boyfriend/finance' to whom you are not married, the Court will consider that to be an "immoral environment."  As such, it will be a factor, but it is only one of many factors that the Court will consider in a custody case.  In some cases it can be the determining factor, whereas in others it might not make as much of an impact on the outcome. 

The bottom line is that you should tell your attorney all of the facts of your case (both good and bad) so that he can then give you the appropriate advice.  Without knowing all of the facts of a particular case, it is virtually impossible to say how much of a factor any one item will or will not be (except for things such as child abuse or neglect).

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The South Carolina Supreme Court issued an important decision today regarding cases heard under the Protection from Domestic Abuse Act.  This statute set forth in S.C. Code § 20-4-10 et seq enables victims of domestic violence to seek an "Order for Protection" to prevent such future abuse.

In Moore v. Moore, after the husband's was arrested for criminal domestic violence (CDV), the wife filed an action pursuant to the above-referenced Act, and she requested an emergency hearing.  At that hearing, the wife was offered a continuance to obtain counsel, but the husband’s request for a continuance was denied.  At that hearing, the Family Court found that the husband had abused the wife and their son, and it issued an Order of Protection.

The Court found that the husband was provided procedural due process prior to the issuance of the Order of Protection, and it affirmed the decision of the Family Court. The Court then found that an Order of Protection issued pursuant to an emergency hearing (a) is temporary, (b) does not represent a final adjudication of the merits of the action, and (c) should not be used against a party in future litigation.

You can read the full text of Moore v. Moore by clicking HERE.

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Last week, the Spartanburg County Clerk of Court released a welcome orientation letter that answers some common questions about child support enforcement.  For instance, this letter specifies which caseworkers have been assigned to particular files, and it indicates that a hearing may be scheduled if the payor becomes three consecutive payments behind.  A copy of that letter can be accessed and downloaded by clicking HERE.

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One of the five grounds for divorce in South Carolina is desertion.  The elements that must be proved to get a divorce on the ground of desertion are:

1. No cohabitation for one year;
2. Intent of person that left not to resume cohabitation;
3. Absence of consent by the other person; and
4. Absence of justification for the separation.

However, this ground is rarely used these days, since the mandatory separation period for a "no fault" divorce was reduced from three years to one year many years ago.

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Question:  How long do I have to wait after my divorce before I can legally remarry?

Answer:  There is no mandatory waiting period in South Carolina that one must wait after a divorce, so as soon as you are legally divorced, you are able to remarry.  However, it is very important to note that you are not actually divorced until the Judge signs the Divorce Decree, which does not necessarily take place at the final hearing.

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When parents divorce, they usually do not want for their child to be around their former spouse's new boyfriend / girlfriend.  In fact, one of the most common questions that family law attorneys are asked is whether this is permissible, with the assumption being that they are not.  However, the answer might surprise you, as it is not what most people expect.

Typically, the Court will allow divorced parents to date and to have their boyfriends / girlfriends around the child, provided (a) the new love interest is not inappropriate for some reason and (b) the new person is not there overnight when the child is present.  Reasons that the new person could be inappropriate include having a criminal record, accusations of child abuse / neglect, past D.S.S. involvement, and the like.
 
If the Court didn't allow boyfriends / girlfriends to be around the child, it would actually be more of a shock if the parent remarried and then the child was then suddenly forced to adjust to a step-parent that he/she had never seen before.  Obviously, putting the child in such a situation would not be in the child's best interest, which is always Court's primary concern.

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Question:  When can a parent ask the Court to modify an existing amount of child support?  Does it make a difference if the person is seeking an increase or decrease?  Does it matter if the parent that is paying has made all of the required payments and has made all of the payments on time?

Answer:  In order to modify any issues pertaining to the child (including child support, custody, visitation, etc.), the person requesting the change must first prove that there has been a significant or substantial change of circumstances since the parties were last before the Court.  If such a change can be proved, the Court will then use the Child Support Guidelines to determine the current, correct amount for child support.  South Carolina's Guidelines take the following factors into account: gross monthly income (or earning capacity) of each parent; work-related child care expenses; health insurance premiums for the child; other children in the home; and other child support paid or received pursuant to a Court Order.  It does not matter whether an increase or decrease is being sought, as the same factors and numbers are used either way.  Also, the fact that all payments have been made in a timely manner will not prevent a future modification.

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Question:  I have been divorced for several years.  My Divorce Decree states that neither party can have the persons of the opposite sex spend the night when the children are present.  My ex-husband now wants to move in with his girlfriend.  If he moves in with her, do I still have to send my children for visitation or can I withhold visitation until they get married?

Answer:  The old adage "two wrongs don't make a right" comes to mind.  If his girlfriend is there overnight when the children are there, he clearly is violating the Order and subject to being held in contempt of court.  However, if you refuse to send the kids and deny his visitation, you would be violating the Order as well and could possibly subject yourself to being held in contempt.  Your best course of action is to remind him about the prohibition on having overnight guests of the opposite sex and to immediately file a contempt action if he violates the Order.

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