Divorce is hard. There's no doubt about it. Even when it's the best thing for both parties involved, it's a hard process to go through - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's not uncommon for our clients to feel completely drained following their final hearing when the divorce is finally granted by the Family Court. Once the case is over, our clients will sometimes ask for advice on how to get back to their "normal" life. Here are three tips we give them which seem to be the most helpful:
Re-build Your Network:
The divorce process can be very isolating for some people. Your attorney has probably told you to "be on your best behavior" at all times and to avoid spending time "going out" and especially spending time alone with anyone of the opposite sex. In today's world, that can feel like you've been put on restriction by your parents! But once the divorce is finalized, it's time to start re-building your own network of friends again. The size of this new network isn't what's important. It's about having people you can trust and turn to no matter what. They should be positive people who are focused on the future and who are happy for the opportunities which are ahead of you - not people who only want to dwell on the sadness of the past. Find people who share your hobbies and interests - not necessarily the hobbies and interests you and your ex-spouse shared together. You will find that some of those interests may have changed now that you're single. Embrace your new life and build your network to support it.
Find a New Hobby:
Speaking of hobbies, now's the time to explore some new interests and maybe find a new hobby you've never enjoyed before. Hobbies are a great way to fill the time during the evening and weekends when you would typically be spending time with your spouse or children. Remember, now that the divorce is finalized, even if you have children, there will be times when they are now out of the house for extended periods of time visiting their other parent. The best way not to get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts or worrying constantly about them is to keep yourself occupied with something positive. There's no time like the present to try something new.
Have you ever wanted to take a painting class, or take up photography lessons, or even learn to ride horses? Well, now's the time to try things that have always interested you. Finding a new hobby will also naturally grow your network of friends and reduce stress. By picking up a hobby, you're occupying your time with something much more productive than idle hands and it helps give your life more purpose.
Create a Healthier Lifestyle:
One of the most common feelings following a divorce is that your unhealthy lifestyle was the cause of the breakup. Many will beat themselves up and blame a divorce on some sort of physical imperfection or the typical weight gain experienced by one or both parties during the course of the marriage. Whether or not physical attributes of either party were to blame for your divorce, now's a great time to reevaluate your lifestyle and implement some healthy changes. Have a talk with your doctor about what changes are best for you. Maybe it's a new diet or exercise program. Beyond the benefits of these things on your physical health, when you exercise your brain releases certain chemicals which work together to make you feel good emotionally and physically. Also, by exercising, you'll improve your mood as well as gain a sense of accomplishment which will be an awesome boost to your overall self-esteem. Certain forms of cardio workouts and yoga are scientifically proven to help boost your mood and overall well-being. (Be sure to check with your doctor before adding any new exercise programs to your daily routine.)
In the end, divorce is an extremely difficult time in life, but there are plenty of things you can do to help improve your life and make it a happy and successful one. I hope this list helped and if there are any tips you believe should be on this list, comment below and let's discuss them.
The Stevens Firm, P.A. - Family Law Center has provided exceptional legal counsel and support to families throughout South Carolina for over two decades, handling all matters of family law, such as child custody, child support, and divorce. We are well-equipped to handle all divorce and family law matters, no matter your circumstances. Contact us at (864) 598-9172 to schedule an initial consultation.