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How to Deal with Intimidating Comments from Your Ex During a Divorce or Custody Case

Posted by J. Benjamin Stevens | Feb 27, 2018 | 0 Comments

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Photo Credit: Andre Hunter,

When a couple decides to separate and proceed with a divorce, it's not uncommon for one or both sides to try to use intimidation techniques against the other to try to "win" the upper hand in the case - or at least to try "win" the emotional battle. We often spend time counseling our clients on how to deal with the intimidating comments and nasty remarks their ex will say to them during the case.

If you are going through a separation, divorce, or custody case in family court, here is just a sampling of things that your ex or the opposing party will say to you in an effort to get you to drop the case, or at the very least, to allow them to have their way in the case:

  • “I am going to drag this case out forever.  By the time you get your share of the property, you'll be too old to enjoy it.”
  • “If you persist in your financial demands, I am going to file a custody action and take the children away from you.”
  • “I've got the best lawyer in town.  He's going to kill you and your lawyer.”
  • “My lawyer is mean.  He's going to make your life miserable.”
  • “Your lawyer is a crook.  His only interest is to drag out the case in order to make more money.”
  • “You've got yourself the most expensive lawyer around.  My lawyer says he's not worth what you're paying him. Fire him and work with me and my lawyer so we can save money.
  • “My lawyer knows all of the judges.  There's no way that you are going to get a decent result in Court.”
  • “I was ready to give you a fair settlement.  Now that you got a lawyer, I am going to play hardball and you're going to end up with much less than I was willing to give you.”
  • “You're crazy for pushing this divorce case.  All that you are doing is taking money away from the children.”
  • “If you don't settle on a reasonable basis, I will have to take the children out of school.”
  • “I'm going to tell the children that you are responsible for this mess.”
  • “At the rate you and your lawyer are going, I'll have to declare bankruptcy and nobody is going to win.”
  • “If you don't settle on my terms, I'm going to drag your girlfriend (or boyfriend) into this case.”
  • “Your lawyer is too busy to handle this case.”
  • “You can't trust lawyers.  They always work with the lawyer on the other side and run up unnecessary bills to make more money.”

We urge you to refrain from making these types of remarks yourself, as they only create more stress for you, more work for your attorney, and ultimately more expenses in your case. 

Hopefully, your ex or the opposing party in your case isn't the type who will make such statements, or if he/she is, then hopefully their attorney will be giving them the same advice you're reading here. Our experience has been that there rarely is any basis for such comments.  If you do hear any of the above “garbage” from the opposing party in your case, discuss them directly with your attorney.

The Stevens Firm, P.A. - Family Law Center has provided exceptional legal counsel and support to families throughout South Carolina for over two decades, handling all matters of family law, such as child custody, child support, and divorce. We are well-equipped to handle all divorce and family law matters, no matter your circumstances. Contact us at 864-598-9172 o schedule an initial consultation.

About the Author

J. Benjamin Stevens

Aggressive, creative, and compassionate are words Ben Stevens' colleagues freely use to describe him as a divorce and family law attorney. Ben is a Fellow in the prestigious American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the International Academy of Family Lawyers, and is a Board Certified Family Trial Advocate by the National Board of Trial Advocates. He is one of only four attorneys in South Carolina with those simultaneous distinctions. To schedule a consultation with Ben Stevens call (864) 598-9172.


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