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How to Reduce the Pain and Expense of Divorce

Posted by J. Benjamin Stevens | Feb 28, 2018 | 0 Comments

Photo Credit: Green Chameleon,

Divorce is a tough transition in life, even if you're the one who wanted the divorce in the first place. We've been handling divorce cases in South Carolina for over two decades and have helped all types of people through their divorces in order to build healthy foundations for their new futures. Here are a few of the tips our clients have found most helpful for reducing both their pain and the expenses of divorces:

Stay involved in your children's lives. Just because you and your spouse are separating, it does not mean that either of you ceases being a parent. Make every effort to remain actively involved in your children's lives and spend as much time with them as possible. Keep track of the time you spend together and the expenses you pay for them while they are with you.

Talk to a licensed professional. Going through a divorce is somewhat similar to dealing with a death, as it represents the death of a close, important relationship. Do not compromise your emotional and mental health in this process. It can be helpful to have someone objective help you through a situation which by nature breeds instability.

Keep a journal. As discussed previously, it can be very helpful to keep track of the important events that take place during the divorce, as well as how they affect you. What you write can be helpful to your case, and it will later refresh your recollection of earlier events. If you are also dealing with a child custody case during your divorce, you may find this article helpful, also: 3 Tips for Keeping a Custody Journal.

Do not 'nitpick.' Fighting over things like furniture, pots, pans, or dishes is usually unproductive, petty and can actually be quite expensive. Most times, the expense you incur in fighting over such items could have easily purchased new ones (and maybe nicer ones) to replace them. Additionally, many people find that they are better off foregoing those things because they are remnants of your past life. Out with the old and in with the new, so-to-speak.

Stay away from drastic, lifealtering changes. Divorce is enough of a life‐altering change as it is. You would be well served to get through this process before starting a new career, a new religion, or a new lifestyle.

Try to resolve the most painless issues with your spouse, if possible. Divorce, apart from the emotional issues, is a process of issue resolution. While every case is different, the sooner the issues in your case can be fairly resolved, the better, as there will be fewer contested issues to be dealt with in the end. A fair and reasonable settlement is always the preferred and least expensive option.

Don't try to ruin your former spouse. The purpose of a divorce case is not to ruin your estranged spouse. If that is your goal, you will be constantly disappointed, and you will never be able to get on with your life. While you cannot control all the cards that you are dealt in a divorce case, how well you deal with them will determine the quality of your life and your emotional well-being for years to come.

Imagine the process is complete. Envision where you want your life to be when this awful chapter is behind you, and then take steps to make your vision a reality. Communicate with your attorney to let him know what your goals are, and work together with him toward achieving them.

The Stevens Firm, P.A. - Family Law Center has provided exceptional legal counsel and support to families throughout South Carolina for over two decades, handling all matters of family law, such as child custody, child support, and divorce. We are well-equipped to handle all divorce and family law matters, no matter your circumstances. Contact us at (864) 598-9172 to schedule an initial consultation.

About the Author

J. Benjamin Stevens

Senior Partner


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