Tough conversations are virtually inevitable when couples divorce.  The following steps can help you prepare for a difficult conversation and keep them productive and not combative:

1. Decide on a realistic outcome.Remember, you and your counterpart may want different things. Think about your desired outcome rather than accomplishing everything on your personal agenda.
2. Focus on the future. What is your ultimate goal? Describe it and the benefits of your vision.  Explain how you'd like to work with your former significant other going forward.
3. Identify what's in the way. With the future as your backdrop, articulate what is interfering with reaching the goal. This helps to keep the conversation away from personal barbs and focused on making positive changes.

Source:  “3 Steps to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation” published at Harvard Business Publishing.