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Tips for Dealing with the Borderline Personality (and Other Crazy People)

Posted by J. Benjamin Stevens | Feb 20, 2013 | 0 Comments

In Family Court, we see (and deal with) all different types of personalities, especially when considering that we encounter people expressing raw emotion, often on their worst of days. The following tips can prove helpful (for both attorneys and litigants in family law cases) when dealing with the borderline personality and other crazy people:

  • If you don't have to deal with a crazy person, don't.
  • You can't outsmart crazy. You also can't fix crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)
  • When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you've already lost.
  • The crazy person doesn't have as much to lose as you.
  • Your desired outcome is to get away from the crazy person.
  • You have no idea what the crazy person's desired outcome is.
  • The crazy person sees anything you have done as justification for what she's about to do.
  • Anything nice you do for the crazy person, she will use as ammunition later.
  • The crazy person sees any outcome as vindication.
  • When you start caring what the crazy person thinks, you're joining her in her craziness.

Source: “10 Practical Rules for Dealing with the Borderline Personality” by Mark Bennett, published at his Defending People blog.

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J. Benjamin Stevens

Senior Partner


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