It is Friday at six. The bag is packed, the other parent is in the driveway, and your child will not get in the car. Maybe it is a seven-year-old in tears. Maybe it is a fifteen-year-old who has simply announced that they are not going. You are standing between a court order and your own child, and nothing about it feels fair.

Here is the part most parents do not want to hear. A custody order binds the parents, not the child. A child's refusal does not suspend it, and the parent with the child is generally expected to make real efforts to see that visitation — parenting time — happens. How you handle a refusal can matter later, in ways people do not expect.

Why the order still applies

Section 63-3-620 provides that an adult who "wilfully violates, neglects, or refuses to obey or perform a lawful order of the court" may be held in contempt. A parent who simply lets a child decide, week after week, risks being the one in front of the judge.

There is a longer-term consequence too. Among the factors a court must consider in any custody decision, § 63-15-240(B) lists "the actions of each parent to encourage the continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent, as is appropriate, including compliance with court orders." Note the verb. The factor asks about encouraging, not merely permitting.

Start by finding out why

Most refusals have an ordinary explanation. A transition between two homes is hard. The rules are different at the other house. There is a new partner, a new sibling, a missed game, a bedroom that does not feel like theirs. Teenagers want their own lives, and every-other-weekend can feel like it costs them one.

Ask calmly, and listen more than you talk. If the reason is ordinary, it can often be fixed by the parents together: consistent bedtimes and rules, a little flexibility around a big event, a counselor for a child having a hard time with the divorce itself. Treat the schedule the way you treat school. It is not optional, and it is not a punishment.

And watch your own words. Section 63-15-240(B) also lists "any effort by one parent to disparage the other parent in front of the child." Even when you are frustrated — especially then — the child should not hear it.

When the child's preference actually matters

A child's wishes are part of South Carolina custody law. One of the statutory best-interest factors is simply "the preferences of each child." The factor itself names no age, and it is one factor among many, not a veto.

Just as important is how a preference gets in front of the court: through a request to modify the order, not by the child staying home. If an older child's wishes have genuinely and durably changed, the path is a modification case, where the court can hear them properly. We explained that process in can you change a custody order in South Carolina, and the full factor list in the best-interest factors, explained.

When the reason is safety

Everything above assumes the reason is ordinary. If your child tells you something that makes you fear for their safety at the other home, that is a different situation, and it needs to be handled carefully and quickly.

Do not hide the child or simply stop exchanges on your own. Talk to a lawyer right away. The court can act when a child's safety is genuinely at risk, and a parent who goes through the court is protected in a way that a parent who acts alone is not. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

If you are the parent being refused

If you are the one in the driveway, the frustration runs the other way, and so do your options. We covered them in my ex won't let me see the kids this weekend. The short version is that patience with the child and pressure through the court are not opposites. You may need both.

What this means for you

Make the effort, and be able to show you made it. Get the child to the exchange. Encourage the visit in words the child can hear. Keep a short, factual note of what happened when a refusal occurs. If refusals become a pattern, do not let them become the new schedule by default. Talk to the other parent, and if that fails, ask the court for help before it turns into a contempt fight.

If you are in danger, please do not work through this alone. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-7233.

Stevens Family Law, LLC is devoted exclusively to family law, and our attorneys handle custody and visitation matters in Family Courts across South Carolina. A child who will not go is one of the hardest problems a parent can face, and it usually gets better with an early plan rather than a late motion. You can reach us at (864) 598-9172 or through our consultation form.

This article is general information, not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Custody and visitation decisions are highly fact-specific, and outcomes vary from case to case.