The papers are filed. Now comes the part nobody prepares you for: months of waiting, during which you are still married, still tied together financially, etc. What you do in that stretch can matter as much as anything said in a courtroom.

Most of the damage done while a South Carolina divorce is pending is self-inflicted, and it tends to happen in five places: money, new relationships, social media and messages, the house, and the children. Here is what to avoid in each, and why.

Don't treat marital money as your own

Until the court divides it, marital property belongs to the marriage, not to whichever spouse has the debit card. When a South Carolina court divides property, it weighs a list of 15 statutory factors in S.C. Code § 20-3-620(B). One of them is marital misconduct “if the misconduct affects or has affected the economic circumstances of the parties.” Another covers the marriage's debts, which have to be divided too. Money that disappears during the case does not disappear from the judge's view of it. That is why the classic mistakes are so costly. While the case is pending, don't:

• drain or move money out of joint accounts;
• run up shared credit cards or take on new debt in both names;
• sell, give away, or hide property, including “lending” it to a relative;
• stop paying bills you have always paid; or
• make large purchases that can wait until the case is over.

If your spouse is the one doing these things, the answer is not always to race them to the bank. We cover what to do in can my spouse empty our joint bank account. Our page on the division of assets and debts explains how the court approaches the whole estate.

Don't date as if the divorce is already final

This is the one people least expect. You are still married until the Divorce Decree is issued and filed, and South Carolina's alimony statute does not care that you have moved out or that the marriage is plainly over.

Under S.C. Code § 20-3-130(A), “No alimony may be awarded a spouse who commits adultery before the earliest of” two events: the formal signing of a written property or marital settlement agreement, or the entry of a permanent order of separate maintenance and support or a permanent order approving a property or marital settlement agreement. Notice what is not on that list: filing for divorce, moving out, or a temporary order. A new relationship that starts after the papers are filed but before a signed agreement or a permanent order can put alimony at risk.

The property statute draws its line differently. Under the misconduct factor in § 20-3-620(B), the court does not consider personal conduct that happens after the earliest of a temporary (pendente lite) order, a signed settlement agreement, or a permanent order. Two statutes, two different cutoffs. That difference is one reason this is a conversation to have with your lawyer before the first date, not after.

New partners matter to custody, too. Introducing one to the children in the middle of a case invites questions you do not need to be answering.

Don't post, text, or vent where it can be read later

Assume every text, email, and post will be read aloud in court someday, because some of them will be. An angry message sent at midnight can outweigh months of good parenting in a judge's eyes, and a vacation photo can undercut a claim that money is tight. We explain how this kind of evidence gets used in digital evidence in South Carolina divorce cases. The short version: write as if the judge is reading over your shoulder, and do not go into your spouse's phone or accounts to find ammunition.

Don't make big moves about the house or the kids alone

Moving out, changing the locks, or moving the children to a new home or school are decisions with legal consequences, and each one deserves a conversation with your lawyer first. We have separate posts on moving out and on changing the locks, because both questions come up constantly.

With the children, the rule is simpler. Keep them out of the middle. Among the best-interest factors in S.C. Code § 63-15-240(B), the court may consider “any effort by one parent to disparage the other parent in front of the child” and “the manipulation by or coercive behavior of the parents in an effort to involve the child in the parents' dispute.” Using a child as a messenger, quizzing them after visits, or criticizing the other parent within earshot all point the wrong direction. Our child custody page covers how those decisions get made.

If there is a temporary order, follow it to the letter, even when you think it is unfair. Under S.C. Code § 63-3-620, an adult who willfully violates a lawful Family Court order can be held in contempt. The way to change a temporary order you disagree with is to ask the court, not to ignore it.

What this means for you

The common thread is that the court will eventually look back at this period, and it will see what you did with money, with the children, and with your words. None of this means you have to put your life on hold. It means you make the big decisions deliberately, and you make them with advice.

When something feels urgent, like an emptied account or a missed exchange, the remedy is almost always a motion, not retaliation. The parent or spouse who stays steady during a pending case usually walks into the final hearing with fewer problems to explain.

Stevens Family Law, LLC is devoted exclusively to family law, and our attorneys handle divorce, property, alimony, and custody matters in Family Courts across South Carolina. If you are not sure whether something you are about to do will help or hurt your case, that is the right question to ask before you do it, not after. You can reach us at (864) 598-9172, or start with our consultation form.

This article is general information, not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. How a court weighs conduct during a pending case depends heavily on the facts, and these statutes can be amended; the provisions described here are current as of November 2026.